The United fans might have a point if the slap-fight between Jose and Ed was over replacing some of the decaying corpses left by Fergie, but this is over spending around £120M to replace two players Jose deems unfit for first team football, who were only bought 18 months ago - by Jose!

MEN ARE TRASH. Yes, you!

Excuse me, that is not a pet peeve, that is a bad habi--[eaten by tiger]

He’s like your drunk uncle. He’s why you pay to fly from Seattle to Orlando at Christmas. What might he say next? Give him more egg nog.

I’m just saying the word “Ultra” sounds kinda cool, and it sucks that now means “Racist Sports Dipshit”

Here, I made this to help with the visual. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Mark Davis is just a very slow Animorph of a ginger man turning into a hairless cat.

More like Pooperintendent amirite

Good for her!!!! Future leader right there!

If you want to preach the virtue of a sober life, be my guest. But you’re in real icky territory when you say shit like:

I, on the other hand, find your just-got-my-one-month-AA-chip soapbox preaching grating but generally easy to ignore.

I can’t and won’t dispute that alcohol accounts for many, many bad decisions. If you’re passionate about this, more power to you (absolutely no snark). Let’s just not blame a high school freshman girl for living life when she was assaulted.

My grandparents used to take me to McDonald’s every Saturday morning and get me hotcakes. They’d just order coffee and get extra single serves of half and half, and let me just knock them back the whole time we were there. They must not have seen anything wrong with it because they weren’t exactly shy about expressing…

I’d like to formally apologize for having the topics Anne Frank + dating in front of me and failing to include this:

Rockwell not winning for portraying Chuck Barris is the greatest crime perpetrated against mankind.

I’ll bet he jacked up his muscles 7,000%!

As a frequent user of the CTA trains and buses, I can tell you I don’t say anything to those people because the last thing I want to do on my commute is start some shit with a human who I already know to be too inconsiderate to wear goddamn headphones. It would not be a productive conversation.

[loud screaming]

To me, that’s the unsavoury part of this. If an overmatched skier from Tibet gets to the Olympics despite facilities or coaching or funding and represents his country gamely, fair ball, that’s the Olympics ideal. But this dilettante gamed the system in a way that only a 1%er could, by flying all over the world at the…

Eddie the Eagle is a great example. Yes, they changed the rules because of him, but he’s freaking icon in England just for coming up with the dumb idea to compete in something he knew nothing about.