Right! Like WHY do personal relationships have to dictate mood/character growth/success? I hate when people say “I just want you to be happy”. Which is basically a guise for “I just want you to have a boyfriend like I do, because that’s what happiness is”.

My favorite is the person who wrote down a really intense narrative about his girlfriend beating him and then him breaking her arm or something. It’s beautifully written and has everything to do with this movie.

I’d like one about this where the woman doesn’t find a partner and is fine. Like, literally does not care. Because that narrative absolutely does not exist.

Jesus, you ain’t kidding! Men call us emotional but they can’t handle a goddamn unicorn movie. CLASSIC.

I’m low key annoyed that zombies are losing to lady gremlin. For real??? You’re working with the same color scheme (I’d argue you’ll get more colors out of zombies) and you get a variety of looks/options as opposed to one. Maybe it’s not even that zombies are losing it’s that they’re losing by so much. Maybe I’m also…

Ghost versus Smoke Monster should be an easy one.

*Sigh* I’m sorry in advance, but I can’t help it...

Dinosaur, really?

Correct. (And who’s not going to vote for satyrs? All they do is get wasted all day. Sounds like my idea of a weekend party.)

Quibble: we’re really into being partially human. If we were really into being human, princess and thumbelina would have taken their rounds.

So upset cenobites are losing. They bring some real s&m aesthetics! I can’t lie- I creepily always found pinhead sexy.

I’m so glad Brie doesn’t come across as cheesy.

“And I’m going to expect men to step into my world instead of me always stepping into theirs...”

For some reason whenever I see Brand I see this guy:

Oh, lordy. You ask for a divorce via text and try that ‘relatively trivial personal disputes’ line with me, buddy. Just try it. I don’t care how many years or decades have passed - that is some SHIT and in my mind she’s earned the right to Taylor Swift the fuck out of their relationship. It seems like she’s taken…

I thought so, too, but he was watching one of those incest pornos, wasn’t he? That seems normal these days because of Trump but it’s not.

Humanity’s generosity is truly without bounds

He says he was hacked but there’s actual video of him liking the tweet

Bless the person who diligently watches the “likes” column on Ted Cruz’s twitter 24/7