lends new meaning to the phrase “wash and wear.”

are you telling me vancouver has an unattached pussy shortage

yes but i need to wear blue spiral galaxies to keep warm.

i originally read this as

I love this idea. Do a Kickstarter.

THIS ONE. I laughed in disbelieving horror for five full minutes . . .how? . . . why? . . .

And with that never-nude reference, the circle of awesome is complete.

Right?! I watched one of my favorite movies recently, Away We Go; Messina has a bit nice-guy part in it and though I’ve seen it before, this time I couldn’t help wondering non-stop who he was cheating on his wife with, or what kind of secret assholery she was subjected to after company left.

Right?! I watched one of my favorite movies recently, Away We Go; Messina has a bit nice-guy part in it and though I’ve seen it before, this time I couldn’t help wondering non-stop who he was cheating on his wife with, or what kind of secret assholery she was subjected to after company left.

so. freaking. THIRSTY.

Unpopular opinion perhaps: I’ve never liked Danny. NEVER. Could not understand why Mindy fell for him. He’s never liked her, and now that the his lust and need to win her are relaxing, the douchecanoe he’s always been and the contempt he has for her are on full display. It’s super close to IRL situations I’ve…

There are indeed some whackjob psychologists out there, but speaking as the child of a narcissistic mother who pulled the exact same kind of shit . . . don’t discount the possibility that the “conversations” between your mom and the psychologist are entirely fictional. Maybe your mom snowed him/her, but a lot of…

On behalf of halfway-normal Christians everywhere—yes, we do exist—please let me say that I am so, so sorry. SO sorry. What utterly horrible things to have said and/or thought at you. Jesus never offers anything but compassion for suffering, and according to our own scriptures, those self-righteous yahoos will have…

My weirdest dreams usually are crazy detailed. I’ve taken to writing them down as soon as I wake up and sending them off to my best friend for giggles.

I dreamed that I conceived of a major invention (a portal to let medical helicopters through a city-wide force field) at the same time as handsome bad boy inventor Matthew Mcconaughey, who because he was an engineer could develop it whereas I couldn’t. However, he gamely offered me a generous share of the profits if I…

Only tangentially related, but . . . while Obamacare made some amazing improvements re women’s health and eliminating pre-existing conditions, the way in which it happened was pretty shitty. See, this part right here:

Why does this headline make so much sense

What the actual fuck. O_O

Can Illuminati Kale be an evil leafy supervillain? PLEASE.