Don’t be a complete sap all of your life, Dennis. Live a little. Give those winged fucktards a wash, chuck ‘em in some of that godawful kale shite you lot love to pretend you’re enjoying and wash it down with a LaCroix, you Basic Becky. Jesus.  (You can even make a casserole out of them if that’s what you’re really…

So next week we get some draaaaamaaaaaa after several weeks of “Meh” content?  I’ll stick to the UK Drag Race.  Far more fun to watch (and Bimini to win!)

Finally convinced Mr Biblioteca to let me give him a buzzcut last night. He thinks he looks like Freddie Ljungberg...

Tell you what, hipsters, you go and attach the clamps to the pig’s nipples and see if you get flashbacks to that creepy-as-fuck “orgy” you were dragged to at college...

So...they were all Scientologists?

ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY PERCENT AGREE.   I take it that it’s some sort of international hiring requirement to source the staff either from the local Morlock population or the sketchy guy who always hangs around the local sports centre?

Your first sentence made it sound like the plotline to a dodgy 90s porno.  Bad Julia!  *denies cookies*

Oh Jesus, I didn’t see this comment. You guys get to suffer the Chicken Monstrosity too? What chook is that shape?!

I had to think - really, really think hard (and that’s not easy for someone like me) - about the last time I had anything chook-descended from Burger King UK. It’s been eighty-four years...and I’m joking. The last time I went to Burger King and got their chicken burger would have been back in the misty days of 2016.…

Oh, and Denali does it again.

Oh, Allison.

Oh well.  The world turns, we all move on...

Ah, what my partner’s sister-in-law refers to as “The Laser-Nipple”.  God, I love Vegas.  

In short: our head of state should not be the head of state of any other country on this planet. No way. The Commonwealth was already starting to creak rather ominously as Betty Windsor’s age and health began to deteriorate and the Commonwealth nations thought “Oh, hold on a fucking second, does that mean we’ve got…

I say we send out a flotilla of drones to hunt the anti-vaxxer dickheads down. Like this, but with less pew-pew...

What the everlasting fuck is “egg trifle”?  The only egg trifle I know of is Creme Egg Trifle and that does not use any oeuf that was farted out of a chicken, let me tell right now...

Ooooh, vegan fish. If I’m feeling vegan and I want fish, I always go to Rachel Ama. Her Vegan Caribbean Salt Fish is fucking *delectable*.

Honestly, you people need a Communist-style purge.  Start with the trailer parks and Florida.  The rest of the world’ll bring the popcorn...

Oh, Sharon. Fuck off and have your brain reconnected the next time you get your face yoinked up. Fuckwit.

Let’s just say it out loud, just this once, kids.