they’re openly shitting on Deadspin, and it’s great

I live in Chicago. I know how cities work, thank you.

He said, “I am not guilty. I did not kill Susan Berman.”

Thus it begins in earnest. I’m in it to win it all night. This will by second to last sober post. I love you all. proud to say Mrs. Court and her hubby Mr. Court voted straight Democrat on our North Carolina overseas ballots. I feel a real part of this, with NC being a prime time player in this election. Fuck Trump…

This is why I live in the middle of nowhere. That, and my fear of decent food and entertainment.

Veep will never end! NEVER! Best fucking show ever! I couldn’t live without the nastiness that shows brings into my life.

That’s interesting because I’m also totally cool with being friends with my girlfriend’s exes as long as they don’t contact me or her or look at me or her or exist on Earth.

i’m fine being pals with all of my wife’s exes...as long as i am better looking and more endowed than them.

If you tell people what they want to hear, most will call you honest. It doesn’t matter whether what you say is truthful or not. That’s all that’s going on here. Trump is just particularly good at telling his rabid fans what they want to hear.

THIS IS THE BEST

My mom did criminal defense for 25 years in DC. She would regularly be called a bitch to her face by prosecutors.

Anytime some strange doofus touches me, I clap their ears and punch them in the throat. I live in a bad neighborhood and this shit happens daily. Walking home from work is like a damn video game. I would not recommend my school of response, because it’s a good way to get killed but fuck I am too sassy to care.

So weird—I heard she’ll be 45 in January.

It was back in 1978 that God changed his mind about black people...

Seeing positive role models on the television as I grew up really helped me accept who I am... So thanks Karen for showing me drunks are funny, witty, and loved.

Her voice is still spectacular as well. Saw her in concert a couple of years ago.

I can’t skip breakfast.

I am 32. I consider myself a strong ass woman. Not a victim. NEVER a victim. But what is shocking, and humbling about this entire election is the fact that other women are speaking out about things that I have just accepted in my life as part of being a woman, and that I’ve forgotten about until now. I truly forgot…

Have you thought about having his best friend go down on you, since he won't do it?