007 is the code name. After James Bond retires, someone will take it over. Why would a spy need two?

If a bunch of confederate army weaponry was discovered in some hick’s basement in the Sates, the NRA would be vigorously, and likely successfully, defending him.

Woo woo, America! You are still a garbage country but we appreciate you allowing us do some of the things we want to do.

“Above all, he taught us to never lose sight of our relationship with nature by filling the landfills with petroleum-based byproducts.”

This is not a “feminist forum.” This is a female-centric gossip aggregate with strong feminist inclinations. Don’t get confused.

Here’s the thing: dreams don’t mean anything. There is no hidden meaning behind your decision to buy a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch while wearing nothing but cowboy boots in the rain. You’re wasting everyone’s time by sharing these stories.

My past summer look

Yeah, you’re right. She should be wearing a onsie, like the one in A Christmas Story. FUCK YOUR MISOGYNY, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.

Still haven’t figured out how to move your neck, eh?

So, anyway, I was in this field that wasn’t really a field. It was, like, a city, but there were trees, so it was like a forest? Anyway, I was lying there in the grass and this dog comes walking by, but it wasn’t a dog, you know? It was, like, a big spider... but it was so cute, and I’m usually scared of spiders. So…

My rules: only if it’s about sex.

This was hilarious.

I think it starts from being an expert on ducks, then finding their reproduc(k)tive behaviors fascinating. Then they go onto specializing in that area.

They couldn’t get a less obvious wig?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, To quote the Joker’s arm and left pectoral.

Well, it certainly looks like the top two-thirds of her face hates the lower third.

You’d better brush up on how things work in academia, then.

Please, Dear God, if you love us, put Rihanna in it.

“‘Scuse me... just gonna turn on the light and check the color of the condom. Oh, drat. Blue.”