In America, pastry means patisserie, and patisserie means “pastry that costs double because it’s fancy and French.”

My family, not known for our great mental health, finally decided that that best way to ask “how are you?” is to text pics of our pets and let that open dialogue for someone to say “feeling down” or “hey, this non-shitty thing happened to me help me celebrate!” OTOH, “How are you?” feels like it requires an answer-diss…

I have taken to telling folks that I am “covid-fine.” With a distinct unimpressed-with-myself inflection to my voice.

I work in public health. I have offspring and a husband.

Yeah, In the battle of “Goofy guy who does movies and may not be as funny as he thinks” vs. “Fascist former mayor who ushered In racist stop-and-frisk laws and defends and supports a white supremacist president”.... I think I’ve chosen a side!

A lot of what he does is also low key (and low brow) counter-disinfo. This Giuliani stunt has people asking if he couldn’t figure out he was being set up by SBC, how the hell would he have any kind of resistance to being a Russian asset? (He doesn’t, as we’ve seen in recent days.)

Look. I can’t believe I have to say this, but if you are in a professional situation of any sort, and a decent human being, and an individual of any sex two generations younger than yourself asks you to have a drink in a bedroom, the answer is no. It’s super easy. Does this individual look like they’d happily hang…

I guess I’m on team “Rudy is a fucking creepy weirdo racist who was a terrible mayor for my city and anything that embarrasses him is a net positive because I hate him.” But you do you.

I remember when a certain idiot declared “like magic, it will disappear” by summer.

Remember when we thought this would be over by summer? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

I keep mine in the console in my truck; that way I never have to worry about forgetting to bring one...I can just grab one from the truck!

Shut the fuck up, dipshit

You’re a fucking moron.

Here’s some good places to start:

I like wearing the masks.

Huh.  Fuck off, Ronnie.

Ronnie sucks.  Ronnie’s family sucks.  Ronnie’s “friends” (nobody actually likes Ronnie) suck.  Don’t be like Ronnie.

Except the first death in my county was a 28 year old man. So no, it’s not just about the 70+ year olds. 

Thank you for making the decision of whether or not to take your opinions seriously much easier.

If you don’t want to wear a mask, tell the delivery person ahead of time so they can leave your delivery on the ground in front of your door.