Thanks to YTMND (may that site rest in peace), I have a totally NSFW image that comes to mind when I hear “Ridin’ Spinners.” Fortunately, you have helped to push that image out of my head, if only for a couple minutes.

Let’s say the battle over FCA becomes a French one, with PSA on one side and Renault on the other. In either case, you’ll have some significant brand pruning due to the mergers. The list of brands owned is as follows:

As long as Buddy Holly can play his 80s hit, “Coo-Coo Daddy Longlegs,” I’ll be there.

Sweet, I can finally build an EV Coyote and pretend I’m in Hardcastle & McCormick. “Drive! Drivin’ like the demon that drives your dreams!”

Can Alfa Romeo find a Sergio Franchi sound-alike to sing about their new crossover?

Here’s a way to test out Theories 1 and 2: play some outdoor games in Tampa at Raymond James Stadium during the first half of the season (April through mid-June at the latest). If you feel that Theory 3 is the most important, then repeat this experiment in Orlando during the same timeframe. Pick opponents that draw…

Sometime in June, the IOC will pick the host of the 2026 Winter Olympics, and similar to the recent Summer Olympics selection, there are only two candidates left: Stockholm-Åre (with bobsled/luge/skeleton to be held at a track in Latvia); and Milan-Cortina d’Ampezzo. I predict the IOC will pick one city for 2026, and…

Are college stadiums off the radar? Maybe a year in Berkeley or Palo Alto would be an option for the Raiders...failing that, there’s always the option to play at the tiny (by NFL standards) stadiums in Reno or Las Vegas. At this point, Mark Davis is really out of good options, and now has to select from a pile of…

I can’t wait for a Browns-Bears game, now that Chuck Pagano is the defensive coordinator in Chicago. The collective weight of their cliches will cause Soldier Field to collapse, leaving behind a tunnel connecting Chicago to the South Indian Ocean. Move over, Elon—here comes the real Boring men!

If the location of the Rays’ stadium is one major reason for poor attendance, then why not drum up interest by playing some outdoor games at nearby football stadiums? The Rays could experiment with a couple home series in Tampa (Raymond James Stadium) and Orlando (Camping World Stadium, aka the Citrus Bowl, and UCF’s…

I’ll second the barnstormer comment, though my version has the Raiders playing at many of the listed options. Next year is the NFL’s 100th anniversary, so why not revive a traveling team for the occasion?

They could share a stadium with the 49ers, which would be hysterically sad.

They could just say “eff it,” and move to either Las Vegas or Reno(!), briefly become the Nevada Raiders, and try to sell out seats in a janky college stadium. One drawback to Reno—apart from the presence of the Law Enforcement Cheetah—is that…

Unlike the Colts, who moved from Baltimore in the middle of the night, these Raiders can move right now to Nevada in broad daylight. This Raiders team would have a hard time selling out games at Sam Boyd Stadium (capacity 35, 500-40,000), or even Mackay Stadium in Reno (capacity 27,000). 

I don’t see as much hunger in STL for basketball as in, say, Kansas City. Sure, the Sprint Center is making money right now hosting various events, but a chance to regain access to the NBA is one that they’d jump on. Plus, I can see the Blues being bitchy about having to share a tenant at the Scottrade Center, which…

Being in Cape Girardeau is certainly cause to drink heavily, so I have sympathy for Dr. Vargas. 

I guess this is better than bringing back the invisible fifth ring and calling the top trim level NSU.

The only silver (and black?) lining I can see from here is that starting next year, the Raiders will be in Vegas and Oakland will no longer be the home of sunburnt Chucky.

“He had extracted himself from the Cambridge one-way system by the usual method, which involved going round and round it faster and faster until he achieved a sort of escape velocity and flew off at a tangent in a random direction, which he was now trying to identify and correct for.”

—Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently’s…

RIP, Scum Bum.

2nd Gear: Hmmm, one month ago almost to the day, there was a post about Hyundai looking to take over FCA (see below). With the death of Marchionne and the relative lack of a succession plan, I wonder if this potential tie-up could become more realistic? Marchionne is obviously not around to object, and Altavilla has…