Not his, thanks to Xarelto.

Defending assault, even of a shit person, is a shit thing to do.

I think the pie in the face is a punchable offense.

Zero - Because when some nut job comes up on you from behind, yells at you while shoving you in the face (even with a pie) - you are allowed to fight back against that assault

So familiar with this guy from my days scouting all-ivy academic sprinters

“I am a lifelong Warrior fan. I have suffered through a conga-line of indignities over the year.”

Iterated defamation, surely.

This is a disgrace. A bunch of sweaty, jacked-up men running around Vegas, rippling muscles barely contained by their tight uniforms?

Kid: Holy shit, that ball boy might have just saved my life!

Once again, a black man discovers the Blues, but it’s white guys who make money off them.

“With the 29th pick in the 2016 NBA draft, Gregg Popovich personally selects Taurean Prince, Baylor.”

Because he’s the best hitter who ever lived and the idea of him imparting his knowledge to a new generation of players is a wonderful thing.

I checked, and this is the first time Deadspin has ever tagged him in a post, which is a very, very good sign.

5-1 like my favorite player of all time

Amazing shot, amazing story. Maybe this will get more white kids to play golf.

The federal budget deficit has declined every year from 2009 to 2015 already.

Wow. If voodoo economics can’t work in Louisiana...

Anchor Julie Stewart-Binks suggested he should dance for her.