"You think this is bad? Well, how do you think I felt?"

I would actually say that the dark-green/brown and black Taurus police car looks kind of bad ass. Certainly better than any blue and white livery I've seen them sporting.

"jingling hand jobs?" Please. Hand jobs are for high schoolers. You get it done better and quicker with your mouth.

Who crosses the line and flashes a sign
Two fingers high in the sky?
Digits up and down, acting a clown,
Everyone knows it's Sjinkie.

Illinois: New York? No. Chicago hates NYC, but the rest of Illinois doesn't give a fuck about NYC and the whole of Illinois doesn't give a fuck about the large state of New York.
And most Chicagoans hate Wisconsin more than they hate NYC, so I'd say N. Illinois hates Wisconsin. S. Illinois hates Missouri.

a roster that includes five pro Bowlers.

What if - now what if, Mr. Smart guy, you lost your hands in a tragic hands-losing incident, and for some reason the surgeon jammed forks where your hands were, I dunno, maybe he lost a bet or was drunk or something, and now you've got these stupid little fork-hands that are next to god damn useless, and now it's your…

If you haven't tried it yet and see it in a grocery store, snag some Organic Valley pasture butter. That stuff is amazing.

I was astounded when i read that. Astounded.

What's your point? I've killed billions of potential babies while enjoying my favorite hobby.

Seriously. How much of an asshole do you have to be to fly after killing off most of your family?

This, this is the shit I love.

A couple years ago I went to see Hell's Belles, an all-girl AC/DC cover band. They were great!

Can't they charge this douche with aiding and providing comfort to an enemy, and just lock him up for good when he gets back onto U.S. soil? Or better yet, just revoke his citizenship. Let him go live in Canada.

Now I'm convinced. Rodman is going to die in a North Korean prison camp.

Ohio State really could have used him in the Bowl Game. Spence is their X-Factor on defense.

Of course he wanted to play, he's a dumb kid just like all college athletes are dumb kids. It's the coaches' job to protect them from themselves.

Besides that the longer he left Miller in the more Matt Millen called him a buckaroo.