Not me! That's one benefit of being ashamed of your bodyyyyyyyy!!!

So they'll have a salad with their meal?

Your DeathLobster already exists, sort of. Meet the carnivorous Coconut Crab:

Wow. I'm glad I didn't invite you to my Emmys party.

It's easy for me to sit here, at my desk, with a semi-functional brain, and trivialize this entire fiasco brought about by families in search of compensation for lives that have been destroyed by a sport their fathers and husbands played despite knowing the consequence of their actions. It's also quite easy to…

Idea: excellent

I actually respect the mom for laying the hammer down and selling the tickets. I don't respect her airing her daughter's dirty laundry in public like that.

Was anyone else appalled by how fast the cars were driving at Daytona Speedway, which surely creates unsafe conditions for drivers and spectators alike?
It would be simple to fix. NASCAR would ask drivers to slow down, be courteous, maybe even use a turn signal once in a while. Things would be so much safer for…

I realized putting 2 Jeeps might not have seemed like a good idea, but the Jeep Gladiator seriously needs a mention! The FC might be a cool idea and a decent UniMog rival, but the Gladiator is the truck thousands of Americans are screaming for, a smallish, but utilitarian pickup, and it's FREAKING COOL to-boot!

promise forever never Deliver

If someone had told me ten years ago that I would come to really like Pink, I would not have believed them. But now I do, I like her music, I like her voice, I like her style and I like her. Pink, you rock.

"Hello my baby, Hello my darling, hello my ragtime dolllllllllll............."

Prowler will always be on my dream list.

[waits for raucous laughter to die down]

I'm convinced that this is performance art.

Sadsack Deadspin Reader Punked into Reading Stupid Article about Two Sadsack Drunken Comedians Who Committed a Felony - TWICE - Against Idiot Kicker Who I Almost Feel Bad For Now

'Fuck you.' What were they going to do, extradite us from L.A.?