That Saturday morning, my neighbor yelled from his yard: “The Pavoratti killed Princess Diana”. I was really confused for a while.

Moon Landing. The first one. Yes, I am old.

#WrongAboutDukeLacrosse

Putin Tweets:

And stop calling this a “Radical Islamist” terrorist attack. The shooter was crazy. He could have scrteamed “God save the Queen!” or “Ting-Tang Wallah Wallah Bing Bang” and it wouldn’t be any less horrific. He was a self loathing gay man who was raised to hate what he was. He was no more a terrorist than the Colorado…

I just called Steve Chabot’s office (I live in Ohio). He was out voting. I asked if he was voting to ban high powered semi-automatic weapons like the AR-15. His office said, “No”. I said, “I hope the $54,000 he got from the NRA bought him some piece of mind. He will not get my vote and I will actively volunteer to…

I know of at least 49 deaths that would have been prevented.

Put Your Money On Me is a nice bookend for Don’t Stop Me Now

Based on experience, I would hit that at the exact moment I raise my molten McDonald’s coffee to my lips.

Know what’s else in her voice? Broken glass and fingernails scratching a chalkboard.

And yet, the obesity rate was a third of what it is now.

Judge Sloth agrees.

My wife has a knack for being in the exact wrong lane at any momnt. If we have to turn right in 200 feet, you can bet your ass she’ll manage to be in the far left lane 10 feet before our turn. This is when she slows and cuts across two lanes of traffic. It makes me crazy.

My son and I once saw a show about sensory illusions. And the show said that frosted flakes and mayo on a sandwich would taste just like a BLT.

I love the look on her mom’s (?) face at Frozen On Ice. It’s like she knows she’s in hell but she has to stay for the kid.

I’ve been to the Williamsburg Busch Gardens twice. Both times in August. Because I can’t learn and something happens when you’re away from 125 degrees with 200% humidity. When a 14 year old boy - at 11:00 AM - says he wants to leave the amusement park because it’s too hot (there were no lines!!!) you know it’s fucking…

Any manual at 5:30 on a Chicago freeway.

Uh, yeah...I’m dating Jessica Lowndess. Yeah. That’s the ticket.

Chicago

Cinco De Mayo