I'm gonna start one for this, then...

It took them 49 years to diagnose him with Aspergers? I knew in the first 30 seconds of that video.

Instead of writing blogs, why don't you guys just make hotlinks to Buzzfeed?

True story: There is a McDonald's in Pataskala, OH (which is also a true thing) and 18 years ago or so, when my kids were small and my wife and I both worked, I would sometimes stop by McDonald's for dinner. Mostly when my wife was working late or out of town because she won't eat that shit.

What about the car dealers that affix a plate or sticker to your car? I refuse to take it off the lot until those awful things are removed.

It's got nothing on a psychobilly freakout...

It's elderly white man's blues. About a million men do this. His isn't any worse than any of the others. At least he comes down on the righteous side.

If your dick looks like a bomb pop for longer than four hours, consult a physician.

If it makes you feel better, my "Birthday Meal" was Sirloin Tips and Rice. It was my favorite thing that my mom cooked. You know, the Banquet Frozen Sirloin Tips in Gravy mixed with Minute Rice.

God Damn. He was something, wasn't he?

That inspired me to take a nap. Damn.

You're better at making sandwiches than you are being a social commentator. Just sayin'

The older I get, the closer I get to being a marshmallow dildo. Sigh.

So that's like a U/.005?

By the way, if you buy a new TV, you will notice that sports look great and movies look like absolute shit. They look like they were filmed live with Carrie Underwood playing a Von Trapp. This is because new TVs have an anti-blurring technology (Samsung's is called Auto Motion) that produces what is known as the "soap…

That guy has a nice place.

So much twee. So. Much. Twee. I. Can't.

Looks like a Drive By Trucker's Album.

Being a dad is way cooler than wearing jeans.