@ClueHeywood: He'd be known as "That corpse behind the dumpster".

I've had a few concussions in my life. Whoo-hoo, it's rapin time!

@Delonte, Interrupted: I believe you can cover it all with a circumcision joke.

Is the next one "Half-assed ideas kept alive by bogus pretend feuds" week? If so, I am there.

The best part, that guy James in the third story? That was Roethlisberger.

@outuendo: I thought guys only came three times in pornos.

It's like the second coming of John Elway.

Pfffft. Who hasn't thrown a Seig Heil or two amongst friends?

BTW, there is an easy fix for crowd surfing. Grab the surfers foot and thrust your arm straight up in the air. Landing on your face once or twice discourages further stage diving.

Fuck that, I go to the draft every year and moving it to prime time sucks. I loved setting my alarm so I could get up early on Saturday and start drinking.

Respect the hell out of you for having the balls to post this.

@Lionel Osbourne: We should just bring in Harry Crews next time.

@UkraineNotWeak: You say it's your birthday?

Caught your act live a few years ago and I swear you were checking me out. You were, weren't you?

Your sister Laura is so pretty and funny, has it been hard laboring in her shadow?

Several countries are bidding for the right to host the funeral, with Russia taking the early lead.

@CaptainHomeless: The Cavs are definitely better when everyone is involved, but when someone is as hot as LeBron was last night the best thing is to just let him go for it.

@CaptainHomeless: Jamario Moon had a ten point fourth quarter, and LeBron had 8 assists in the game. What the hell more do you want?

@Armen Tamzarian: Being able to stand up quickly?