Christ, Leitch, you make Gomer Pyle seem like a pessimist in comparison. #billsimmons

Next set of outsourced signs:

I thought high school wrestlers were kind of fucked up in the head to begin with, but the fact that the coach used to shower with them and everyone was cool with it convinced me. #assholecoachdigest

He's no Christian Okoye. #larryjohnson

@Christian: Best thing about the book was reading it on the subway and laughing out loud. People gave me plenty of space.

Fine, Liz, but what's your position on mushroom tattoos? #philliesfan

Drew I think I love you.

I'd like to see her magic underwear. #womenssoccer

least surprising pot bust ever

@Juancho: You're more likely to find the Blair witch than a net profit deal that pays out. #searchingfor

Dear AJ,

@crazyjoedavola: Brilliant, as usual. #searchingfor

While we're at it, where the hell is Bobby Fischer? #searchingfor

Dear AJ,

Are we just ignoring the fact that QB rating is largely a meaningless stat? I thought Matt Millen was the only guy who still used it. #jamboroo

I preferred Shaughnessy's article explaining how Don Zimmer's giant skull inspired the building of the superhedron collider. #worldseries

Not sure which offends me more, the blackface or that woman passing herself off as a Swedish model. #halloween