The International Union of Cue Card Workers ain’t gonna like this.

Yeah, we call such mysterious things a “radio jammer”. Either that or a Continuum Transfunctioner.

Because not ever getting caught for doing something is a surefire sign of never doing it?

Of course his mom is gonna talk about what a safe driver he is. My parents would have said the same thing up until I bashed in the quarter panel on my dad’s Toyota because I didn’t properly appreciate the concept that fall leaves…

I have to assume he was looking at his phone, based on what I see nearly every day. Someone will start to veer towards the shoulder for ~20 seconds, then jerk back to the middle of the lane, when I pull up beside them there is always a phone in their hand. Thankfully, this is usually on divided 3-4 lane interstates…

Newsreader: This may be dificult to watch.

I don’t know, it looks like a pretty conscious lane change.

Everything you just said can coincidently be applied to Ariana Grande herself.

“All of them with signed parental consent forms.”

The Internet will never forget.

Given how bad the bids have been they could buy Gizmodo media group 245 billion times

“At a current net wealth estimated at $131.9 billion, around 1.86 Jeff Bezoses”

“So long and thanks for all the fish!”

Dolphins man. We need to start interrogating the dolphins... Because you just know they are talking shit about us while they just float there speaking to one another.

What does Sarah Palin have to do with this?

What a wild time to be alive! Not only that this is happening, but that this isn’t a major shock newswise.

lol Apple: Putting lipstick on a pig since 1976

Interesting facts about the paintings in Tutankhamun’s tomb...

Just keep this restorer away.

If only King Tut’s father had given him a “small loan” to kick off his “pyramid scheme”, maybe he’d have done a little better.

He should have used spray paint