The International Union of Cue Card Workers ain’t gonna like this.

Because not ever getting caught for doing something is a surefire sign of never doing it?

Of course his mom is gonna talk about what a safe driver he is. My parents would have said the same thing up until I bashed in the quarter panel on my dad’s Toyota because I didn’t properly appreciate the concept that fall leaves…

I have to assume he was looking at his phone, based on what I see nearly every day. Someone will start to veer towards the shoulder for ~20 seconds, then jerk back to the middle of the lane, when I pull up beside them there is always a phone in their hand. Thankfully, this is usually on divided 3-4 lane interstates…

Newsreader: This may be dificult to watch.

I don’t know, it looks like a pretty conscious lane change.

Everything you just said can coincidently be applied to Ariana Grande herself.

The Internet will never forget.

That’s not how SNP data work (DNA fingerprinting often used in forensics/paternity tests). SNP sequencing vs whole genome sequencing are two verrrrry different approaches (SNP is way cheaper, simpler, and only looks at a subset of loci. Gather enough sets of loci and it becomes easier to distinguish between two people…

I do on the other hand know a ton of people who have taken ancestry tests hoping to find out that they have “Native American blood”. (Narrator: They did not.)

Good thing you shelled out for the test with “accurate” on it. I’m the kind of cheapskate who figures that it’s worth saving a few bucks to get the one with “close enough” on it. It’s not like my dog really cared when I found out she was a Yorkshire Terrier-Mastiff mix, with 8% ferret DNA mixed in.

The science on this one gives me paws.

Tee-hee!  Honestly, sometimes I’d just settle for rule of the scientists.  At least they will not govern via conspiracy theories.

Fun fact, Anna is my name IRL! The assmonkeys who created that curriculum would have a stroke about this “Average Anna’s” sex life. I’ll take being a slutty spinster, over having a child with a shitty partner.

It’s almost like the more rules you give women, the more shitty men will feel excused for assaulting them.

I think it’s just the kids. Sounded fine until something arrived that took away all her time and energy.

Well you see, that’s where they mean “a satisfactory work-home balance” Either Average Anna needs to be rich enough to afford a nanny or she needs to keep her butt at home, in their views.

Discussing the similarities between a nun’s habit and a burqa is now top of my conversation list for next family Easter/Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner.

My important takeaway from Average Anna was that her husband needed to contribute more around the house, and stop taking her for granted. Maybe if he would talk at the dinner table instead of playing with his phone, she wouldn’t be so likely to have an affair, I’m just saying.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA. Nobody said burqa. Hahahahahaha, of course that’s not necessary.  That’s a heathen muslim garment. Jesus loves you and wants you to have greater freedoms than those terrorists. But just, like, one or two more freedoms. Don’t go crazy with the freedom, young lady.

I was subject to this trope for years. To say it has warped my psyche and held me back in self-development is an understatement. None of these “scriptural teachings” they drown you in are arguable to them, so if you don’t conform or agree to all of them, you are a devil-worshiping whore who is going straight to hell.…