Good. Calling the police on a person is exactly like pointing a loaded gun at that person.

Squiggy, we’re not friends, not even Kinja-friends, and if you insist on juxtaposing pipe-cleaners and urethrae in my mind’s eye, we will never be.

I hope they were small pizzas.

Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s necessary to type out your incoherent ramblings on a computer when your phone is confiscated by John Kelly.

“SQUIRTED MIXTURE OF BLEACH AND WATER INTO RECTUM WANTING TO PREVENT AIDS”

The penis entries are always a worthwhile reminder that with close to 400MM people in America and 7B throughout the world, no matter how crazy the activity you can imagine, there's probably 200 people doing that very thing right now. 

Very presidential

Can someone set up a Gofundme for this man’s inevitable moving costs?

I always thought it was telling me to go to McDowell’s

Yes, that person basically said you are full of shit

These days, “things that teens do” seems to also entail “shooting people”. But you’re right, I don’t work at a school or have any children of my own, so I guuuuess it’s not a problem in my world.

Dude, they won’t listen. You are absolutely correct but they don’t care.

200 proof? I’m pretty sure that’d cause things like brain damage and facial droop to the point where you’d wonder if said person had or was having a stroke...

An educated person wouldn’t use the word ‘anyways’.

And when Nolan was a teen the only thing that got kids to quit or not start smoking was a tremendous push from anti-smoking PSAs and anti-tobacco legislation.

Without it, the tobacco companies would still be large and in charge, pushing vapes as ‘completely harmless’ alternative to smoking and marijuana would never be…

This is the same dude who giggled, while under oath, that he would have no problem posting pornographic pictures of four-year-olds. Save your breath.

That blogger has lower intelligence than that of a dead squirrel. The problem is that someone at whoever owns gizmodo these days “hired” them for peanuts and expects any sort of intelligence to come out. And they’re thinking “well golly!!! someone hired me, my opinion may mean something”. But you can’t fix stupid.

I have an idea that the next Democratic candidate should suggest doing exactly this but for our ‘agenda’. The candidate should stand a podium in Flint, Michigan and say ‘Day One we get the money to end the water crisis in Flint. Day One. If that syphilitic clown can take money from ten different agencies to put kids…

How do we know you aren’t peddling vapes? You sound like a child with no kids. As a parent, and non-physician, your take is short sighted, dumb, and self-serving.