I only know it because a lifetime of Simpsons fandom has conditioned me to react to every terrible action scene with a lusty sigh and “Richard Dean Anderson will be in my dreams tonight...”

You fool! The correct move was to silently maintain eye contact while getting the straw as far in your mouth as you can. Then you would have had all the used-Porsche joyrides you could handle!

I don’t think he so much puts in effort as is tricked into it. Like when he was done filming Punch Drunk Love, he was probably really perplexed as to why there wasn’t a single scene of him in Hawaii wearing cargo shorts.

For a number of music majors, marching band is a requirement of the degree, and many of these kids are very likely on a scholarship for which marching band is a requirement. Hell, I know at my undergrad the baton twirler got a full-ride for doing that.

This isn’t surprising at all. Even beyond the fact that it’s the heated rivalry of the two FBS teams in the state, but for those not from Iowa, ISU is where shitheads go. More or less everything in that university is run by the Greek system, and it shows. They used to have this fun annual event called VEISHA that was…

Ah yes, your personal experience is representative of the literally millions of people who support Sanders.

Yes, the person calling the people that disagree with them childish is truly the reasonable one

Culpepper would have an MVP if Manning hadn’t broken the single-season TD record that year

He’s white privilege in football form

Man Loses Pants, Life

My favorite Arraez stat, from a shameless homer:

This x10000

Only Democrat partisans can genuinely take the position of “the voters are too stupid to understand what to do!” It’s just like Jerry Seinfeld getting mad at college students for not liking his homophobic jokes

vOtE BlUe nO MaTtEr wHo!!1!1!!11!!

You left off the first and most promising: kill themselves

Then he gets to write seven different articles about how the PC Police have ruined sports!

Yeah, how dare society’s standards change in 25 years?!? Everyone knows 1994 was the height of our world’s existence!

As long as there aren’t any women around, it’s ok for Pence and Mother

Like punching someone in the dark!

Ah, but you’re missing the entire point. These people don’t need to learn humility because they are never wrong and therefore have no need to be humble about anything.