Shakespeare explains why they are doing just fine.

“Look, there’s no need to check. When Melania said I was missing a ball she meant the basketball player.”

They phucking say fenis. And you should have seen them flip out when I had them over for dinner and asked “before I cook is anyone fussy?”

+ 1 Barton Fink

Kanter’s pre-game meal of a Gyro with feta, tzatziki and extra onions made LeBron rethink his intention of being the last to back away.  

Osweiller’s deep-seated Grimace issues once again surface.

Don’t see the big deal. He was just using N.L. rules for stage diving.

Proudly.

Merged their faces and Gollumed them. Best I can do in my 10 minute break, but it was still strangely cathartic.

UNC: “Oh that. We just said that to close the NCAA investigation! We really did what we told you the first time promise.”

Accreditor closes investigation, NCAA reopens.

“Oh that. We just said that to get out of trouble with the accreditor!”

They just announced an hour ago who it will be. Connectivity & communication are going to be off the map when YOU control the 2018 New York Yankees.*

Reporter: Can you tell us how it feels to both start and finish with yourself?

Parkey: Feels? I guess a little lonely sometimes, but that is a kicker for you. These guys have groupies lined up around the block and can get into the hot clubs for free, but kickers... unless we are in a relationship we’re used to taking…

I have seen it and it was great. Now it is Charlie’s turn to... shine? Is that the right word for what they do? :P

THE U IS BACK BABY

It is like Charlie and Dennis from Always Sunny merged into one little league hockey coach. The voice even cracks right when he reaches fever pitch.

Breaking: Dodgers removed from life support. Houston recipient of their donor men left on base.

“Your swollen balls will float in the ice bath after the game. We all float down here!”

Or spark the Guinness World Record biggest bong. We just lease some capacity on the Rockies Express Pipeline so the smoke exits in Colorado and is legal. Irony + Engineering = Kinja.

The two teams uh... tied at some point and. One team,... won, I think... And boom goes the gameball.