Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

Go ahead and put your two weeks notice in at work.

Oh, you’ll like it. The real question is whether you’ll ever accomplish anything in real life ever again.

You might want to draw up divorce papers, first

I DEMAND a revised Why Your Team Sucks for the Vikings.

Messi was playing for the Youth team of Newell’s Old Boys, which plays in the top Argentinean league, so he wasn’t in the slums by that point.

Tell that to Croatia. The sad truth is that the USMNT is in no better position than it was before Klinsmann was hired, and some might even argue it’s taken steps backwards.

You would hope they would, but we’re going to hear about how they made it to the quarters of the Copa and not that they got smacked hard by two of the the elite teams in the tournament.

I’d argue your comment is more stupid and more of a waste of time.

It can’t be overstated how important Tristan Thompson’s offensive boards were tonight. During the stretch where the Dubs were hanging around 7-9 points back late in the second quarter, one more burst away from erasing the Cavs’s first-quarter dominance, the Warriors were able to force the Cavs into bad shots and…

This is stupid. This deserves a slap on the wrist at most.

I was going to say that the second and third goals looked awfully saveable

Agreed, crushed it into the 7. Paraguay had one hell of a second half, exciting match.

The reality is we’re a far better counter team than possession based. We have no clue what to do on the ball.

Basketball: The rules committee has met and dunking is no longer allowed in basketball. We don’t like the message it sends to the youth who follow our sport.

Golf: Tickets now on sale for the Masters. Send paypal to suckers@gmail.com to guarantee your tickets for the next Masters tournament.

Baseball: If you build it…

I’ll be watching this to the end because you don’t get to see a GM see his own roster falter while on the court himself.

Actually, they dipped a bit in game 2, but it was still #2. Game 1 was the recordbreaker.

I’m pretty sure they’re literally the highest of all time.

This shit is getting the last episode of Seinfeld-type ratings down here*