“I’ll start here: Don’t give your work away for free if someone would pay you for it.”

There are good people on both sides.

Good satire this ain’t.

Jesus. These toxic bags of shit make more than me? That’s downright depressing that is!

I have never ridden a horse. I had one give me the side-eye once at a county fair, but that’s it. And I can conclusively say that the reason people do not pad saddles is obvious: the horse and rider would endlessly bicker over whether the padding should go on the top side or underneath the saddle. Should be obvious,…

Cool beans! Now if I can only mange to do it using WAY the fuck too many words, and a more patronizing tone, I too can become a key player in the DNC.

Brilliant. So don’t rock the boat, don’t say or do anything that would indicate any desire for real change. Maybe a sly wink to those among your base that might be on board (i.e., everyone), but for God’s sake, don’t actually SAY anything. And then, some years down the line when you are in power again, don’t do…

Giving Ivanka Trump air time to bloviate on shit she ain’t got no clue about is a thing that really doesn’t need to be discussed.

I think it is rather unfair of them to gloss over the fact that Steele was chosen not only because he is black, but because he happens to be a complete fucking idiot as well.

What kind of asshole lawyer would take this chump’s money for this one? Doesn’t the bar censure you for scamming clients by taking on an impossible case?

I absolutely love the fact that their poster labelled: “SHAME” looks, even to my hetero eyes, really fucking hot!

“Have You Heard The Good News About Facebook”

Oh that whacky Lengyel, isn’t it charming and adorable that we keep giving him second chances to the end of time.

“how to buy cryptocurrency”

Well thank fuck no one is dumb enough to spread the news and give free publicity to whatever grift she’s up to these da... oh.

Holy crap! People are doing shit that lets them access their preferred porn online... for free?

Oh hey, goodie gumdrops. Instead of making him a pariah, never to be hired, written about, or mentioned again for the rest of his life, we endlessly write cute little pieces about good ole’ Sean Spicer. Here he is having one tenth of one percent self awareness. There he’s chumming it up with celebrities. Isn’t that…

So, thanks to an amusingly salty editor we’re now supposed to ignore the fact that these motherfuckers gave a piece of shit like Milo a publishing deal with a $250k advance in the first place? No dice. Fuck Milo, fuck Simon & Schuster, and fuck this guy for ever touching this gig. Fuck em all.

Right answer, wrong song....

This is suuuuch a Buzzfeedy clickbait headline. The attached article could be pure life-changing brilliance, and it would still be shit and you should still be ashamed.