Just as every dick is suckable and every tune is hummable. But some, my dear friend, are orders of magnitude more so than others.

I’ve never heard of this guy until now. But since Harvey, I’ve seen endless pictures of him and have one burning question: how the FUCK does this guy go through life not getting punched in that face by everyone he meets?

Wanna do something powerful and right about Caitlyn Jenner and her awfulness? It’s really simple:

Oh goodie. The Democrat version of both-siderism.

Hey soopergenius: here’s the difference. One group built a great nation. The other group fought to destroy it. But please, continue to vomit Trumptweets (TM) as if they were actual thoughts.

OK, but why does it feature a picture of Bill Murray cosplaying James Madison?

Could y’all just... stop? Like, stop talking publishing items about this assclown? If you dignify this fucking idiot with a platform and a chance to “say his piece”, he’ll keep doing him and we will all be the worse off for it.

ANY. It wasn’t even enough for ANY of his top officials to ditch him. Stupid headline is stupid. (like a Trump official)

Actually, as a Canadian, I’ve been on the receiving end of government caring and compassion every time I or a family member goes to the doctor. Some of us continue to draw breath thanks to universal medical care. Meanwhile, people like you confuse corporate PR/crisis management with an actual response. Good luck with…

No wait, even better. I’m now working on a digital currency that is mined based on the indignant postings of libertarian jackholes cluttering up comment sections with humourless assplanations of how all money is, like, just a construct man and at least bitcoin protects your sovereign rights and privacy as it frees…

Joke’s on you, HamNo. I’ve started a digital currency that is based on a blockchain algorithm that calculates the number of burritos on earth at any given moment. And since delicious burritos aren’t going to disappear any time soon, this guarantees lasting value and a certain hedge against armageddon. It’s not too…

Seriously? We need to do this? Here is a running list of Ivanka Trumps achievements as a moderating influence.

Is it “pedantic dickhead” or “pedantic dick head”? I’m asking for a friend.

Is it “pedantic dickhead” or “pedantic dick head”? I’m asking for a friend.

Counter-counterpoint: It’s me you live beside, and you’d best keep your gawddamned awesomeness to yourself and quiet, motherfucker!

Counter-counterpoint: It’s me you live beside, and you’d best keep your gawddamned awesomeness to yourself and quiet, motherfucker!

 The fact that you read “sound Caucasian” as “don’t sound like a hood” speaks volumes. Do you honestly think that if your voice sounds “black” but you speak in a nice, middle class idiom that you’re always bound to be just as well received as someone whose voice “sounds white”? That’s some Grade A bullshit there,…

The problem here is that while I get a downright visceral pleasure from reading this (good shit as always, Mr. Burneko!), it whitewashes the intense and horrific real life consequences of President Loser McLoserface. Even though every “big” thing he’s tried to usher in has failed bigly, he’s quietly and not-so-quietly…

These feelgood stories about some poor bastard that persevered and landed a cushy gig making fuck all money in an esport team sweatshop never mention the thousands of other poor bastards who give the finger to their parents and college and fail to reach these lofty heights of mediocrity.

What the hell do you mean, “the first six”? There are only five Star Wars movies: Episodes IV, V, VI, the new one (The Force Awakens) and the newer new one (Rogue One), and that’s it. Five, carpdammit! And so help me God I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise!

What the hell do you mean, “the first six”? There are only five Star Wars movies: Episodes IV, V, VI, the new one…

Sounds like one big long “I’m not racist, but...”