You should say to those people, “Get thee to a library!”

Victoria Justice and Nina Dobrev look so much alike it’s bizarre! Evidence:

Okay, so then are you saying that one could argue The Lion King—a Disney children’s movie—is better than Hamlet, which is widely regarded as (one of) Shakespeare’s best play(s)?

There’s a casting director, Allison Jones, whom I think you’d really like. She works a lot with Paul Feig and Judd Apatow and has cast so many weird actors I love. The New Yorker featured a profile on her last year: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/…

Aww thank you!

Actually, DoubleOJoe is only half right. While Blue Bell is indeed named after the Texas bluebell—a wildflower native to the Southern US and some parts of Latin America—that’s not Texas’s state flower. The bluebonnet is.

I love fried okra, and I want to agree with you. But when truffle mac and cheese exists, how can I?

Aww, Rob Lowe’s doing great and probably making a lot of money with The Grinder. It’s the rare good network sitcom. You should watch it!

“How’s it Gonna Be” is a really good song. I think you have good taste in pop music. Just sayin’.

What a tiny little baby puppy! Awwww. Who's a little baby puppy?

You and your son sound homophobic.

It was mean. I’m sorry. Adding commas to essential appositives is, apparently, greatly offensive to me when I’m tired and grumpy.

Maybe learn how to punctuate an essential appositive before you make fun of Lindsay Lohan’s literary knowledge.

Yes, totally, 100 percent weird and unattractive regardless of gender. Shirt plus no bottoms always looks to me like a baby whose diaper is being changed.

Yep, that’s what I was getting at. You said it better than I did with “since there is no place for them there at all.”

Of course stunning, gorgeous women exist where I live. And I’ve actually never been treated unfairly because of how I look. I’m conventionally attractive, but I’m still ashamed of my body, and it is largely (though yes, not entirely) because of the naked or nearly naked bodies I have seen on TV, in movies, and in…

I agree with ad infinitum that a lack of responsibility can be arousing. I agree with you that in many ways, sexuality is an innate trait—specifically, that hetero-/homo-/bisexuality are innate and immutable (allowing for a spectrum).

“Bobby Flay’s ex”

YES. Thank you.

And here’s a brunch-appropriate version: