Can we edit that to lashes rather than brows? I have a hilariously terrifying image of an eyelashless population running through my head...

This is the least sexual kiss I have ever seen and I once accidentally kissed my grandpa on the lips.

Thank you. I am a little taken aback by the number of responses here that basically equate to: “Tough luck, the syllabus is the syllabus, so suck it up and get naked in front of your professor because art.” Ummmmm, no. And it’s not OK just because there is a substitute requirement to “get emotionally naked.”*

A couple of magazines have this feature for women. It's always 8 bottles of water, a green smoothie for breakfast, 6 almonds and green tea for lunch and a salad with four steamed shrimp no dressing for dinner and then the splurge...one square of dark chocolate for dessert.

I would never fuck a person who can’t think of a rhyme for “hug me.”

Hard pass!

after getting dumped in high school, i came home in tears and announced that i was going to slash his tires. i dramatically asked my mom where the box cutter was and she gave me a big hug and said “no, sweetie. what you want is a hammer and a screw driver.”

I totally guessed John Mayer.

When the Spice Girls were in their heyday I was around 11, and my mom wouldn’t let me go to their concert because I was too young.

A pool party without the Black Eyed Peas sounds a trillion gajillion times more fun than a pool party with the Black Eyed Peas. I never go to parties unless I can get assurance, in writing, from at least three people, that none of the Black Eyed Peas will be there.

I've had many cats over the years. They're all dicks and they all love to play "Hide And Go Fuck Yourself Human".

One of my biggest fears is that one of my cats will sneak out an open door or window of my house (we live next to a busy street and near a mountain reserve full of hungry coyotes). One night we had a party where people were going in and out a lot. Once the party ended and everyone drunkenly went to bed, I did a final…

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

You don't like your little girls looking like a brides thigh? Psssh, whatever.

She does a good impression of Samantha from SATC.

OMG! That reminds me of the day my dad told me my mom had been fired. — since I was maybe four year old, I thought she had literally been set ablaze. I was pretty sure I was supposed to feel sad that my mom was dead, but my dad didn't seem all that fazed, so I kept my festerign grief to myself. You can imagine my…

When my dad was driving my brother, his friend and me home from school when I was in kindergarten, his friend was talking about how his class was having a Thanksgiving play. I thought to myself, "I want to be in a Thanksgiving play", so I chimed in that my class was having one too! I said that there were so many…

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

I was noticing that. The interviewers are both average sized people and they are bending over to talk to the wee couple.

Haha the part at 2:26 when Mama gives the finger to the couple with a stroller on the sidewalk is the best.

Imagine how confusing that would be.

"The fuck was that?"

"I don't know but did you hear an accordion??"