I’m more like “how ‘bout get your own house, about 4-5 blocks away.”

Screw separate beds, let’s talk about totally different wings of a house.

Oh, “John Donne...” my ass. Who can she possibly think she’s kidding?

IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM

Charlie Mackenzie: Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, “The paper.” The paper contains facts.

Bobby, you are a gift.

Having endured a pre-teen playing Macklemore’s first album on repeat, while recording his own “podcasts” (garbled covers of Macklemore recorded on an iPod and played back over a laptop) on a 20+ hour drive around the Great Lakes, I am uniquely qualified to tell y’all that Mr. Mack does indeed reference doing lines etc…

I did it once before in a previous article, so I sort of picked my hill to die on and now I’m just GOING FOR IT.

-Babysitting experience STRONGLY PREFERRED

Don’t make fun of our vowels and I won’t make fun of yours. Our laptops are made by blackberry and, like enforced wearing of lululemon we must purchase them all. It’s basically a soviet gulag up here. We can only clean our bathrooms once a month when the lysol shipments from the usa arrive. someone send help. or build…

Mayonnaise, actually.

Isn’t it great when you meet, or in this case get a view into, people’s parents and all of the sudden you are like

Eh, I’m gray everywhere. I was one of the venerable old commenters of yore here, but Natasha VC kicked me to the grays a few months ago for a harmless joke about... guh, I can’t even be bothered to rehash it, it’s so dumb.

Hell, I’m for married people keeping separate residences. Probably why I’m not married yet. I was talking to my co-worker about it and she said, “Well, it helps if you like the person.”

That escalated quickly.

HILARIOUS

“You don’t look sick.” That doesn’t mean the person in question is not actually sick.

That shirt is blue. - Observation

You mean beatings right?

As a quirky-but-not-diagnosed geek who married another quirky geek and had an autistic child, I was never particularly confused about the cause of my son’s autism.