reminded me of one of my all-time favorite tweets:

His lobby buddies were always, ‘Dude, you look sooo baked...’

Needs to go to Philly - Name him Gritty.

I’d argue that Pennsylvania’s should be a Lebanon bologna sandwich. Preferably Seltzer’s sweet, preferably on a Martin’s potato bun, with good lard cooked potato chips on the side.

I’ll bypass a cheeseteak everyday for a Dinics’s Italian roast pork with sharp provolone and long hots.

I believe we have put to rest the fact that a hot dog is not....

They cant scoop it early

But I have a constitutional right to be able to yell at teenagers about shit they have ZERO control over.

Okay here’s the list. The rest of you can rank it!

With $2.6b you’d think she’s rich enough to finagle her unpromising children into the schools of their choice the old fashioned way. Aunt Becky couldn’t cut USC a check for like $10m to endow a new wing of the library without affecting her standard of living deleterious, but Madame Hotpocket absolutely could.

1) Maybe someone will bring her a hot pocket with a saw blade in it.

This warning brought to you by the Wisconsin Dairy Council.

Yes, and the poor child volunteer that day. Dark times for public television and science. Of course, I was home from school with the flu and whacked out on cough medicine at the time. 

We built these in science class in middle school, two nails thru a board with wires leading to directly to them. Just plug it in. No switch required. The same teacher also had us making Hindenburgs and exploding them behind the school.

Right? It’s just such an offal situation.

Nah, he’ll probably get a raise; the bossman told him to be in Kenosha by 3, so he was just moving his buns the best he could.

“Y’know, you were driving like a real brat back there.”

He got his wiener in hot water and then got grilled. 

I sure hope the links to articles are stuffed with juicy details about the cop’s beef with the driver.

Lancaster County, PA has my personal Mecca of buffets: Shady Maple. 100 yards of buffet and grilling stations, ICEE and soft serve machines, surrounded by a bouquet of Pennsyltucky’s finest. The basement is an equally large retails space full of trinkets you’d expect to find in any flea market.