Here’s a transcript of his planned speech:

Seriously. And how does anyone think deploying spike strips on a road that has a corridor of stopped cars filled with people is a good idea?

1,200 miles up the coast from Orlando FL to Western MA.

There’s a soccer group with the same acronym that I saw the other day, heh.

When given the choice between a fancy car you don’t even want to park under a tree for fear of acorn damage and a beater

Indeed.

Tell your mother that there are also a lot of scary brown people in New Jersey. 

“In one way, Donald Trump’s attack on our foreign trade partners resembles his attack on immigrants: in each case, the attack is framed as a response to evildoing that exists only in his imagination. No, there isn’t a wave of violent crime by immigrants, and MS-13 isn’t taking over American towns; no, the European…

I’m more impressed by the time traveling Harley buyers who managed to drive down sales in 2017 based on events that occurred in 2018. 

Thank you for the /s mark, because Magats would absolutely say this without even a hint of sarcasm.

blah blah blah more anti-Trump bull. Go back to writing about cars that none of your poor readers can afford. You all should just be glad that North Korea and Iran have been defeated and that terrorists no longer threaten the homeland, but no, gotta only talk about the negatives.

Calm yourself, Sarah - it’s just locker room talk. 

I said this elsewhere, and I’ll say it here.

I thought I’d add a new take on a fan favorite.

don’t worry, mexico will pay for it.

...

There is probably a 0% chance that the owner will ever get to the payoff part of this loan. Probably not even keep it a year or two. Just like a house, most people never get to the end of their 30-year term before they sell.