Being the Bow Girl when you’re 70 is not the plum JoJo imagines.

He’s also affecting a Walter Winchell speech cadence. I expect him to send greetings to Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea.

1979 or 80 I go to a concert at some NYC former movie palace turned music venue theater. The bill was UFO and Off Broadway, two bands that were somewhat successful but to this day I can’t tell you the name of any of their songs. To me they’re like Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern.

Here Are Things Not to Put in Your Vagina

Can we still fly huge American flags at car dealerships?

Isn’t that what Mount Olympus is supposed to look like?

Why aren’t those kids wearing ear protection? That’s got to be a noise hazard zone.

I’ve been using Axe Body Spray with no luck. Maybe I should switch to carrying around a male python.

I think a Rodin statue would be a good addition to the property.

...and they died of ennui. Photo courtesy of Edward Gorey.

I thought the Turner cable networks were already a MCU marathon.

So...Froggy went-a-courtin’, eh?

There can be only one Them!*

And they charge 4 fricking dollars for that.  Shit like that is why I started making my own sausage, egg and cheese biscuits at home.

Garum sounds disgusting and I’m dying to try it.

Obviously she got up to take a pea.

So it’s 85% off?

Here unicorn says different.

No shit.  Freshman year English class.

The actress or the beer?