I don’t understand why Timberlake, whose solo career singing style mimics Michael Jackson, chose a Prince hologram.

How about if I say I don’t get it, I’m old but follow it up with whatever slang word is hep at the moment?

The museum didn’t want to get the painting back covered in chocolate and self-tanner fingerprints.

It’s also the reason I have to be doubly charming.

No hoagie. No hoagie. You’re a hoagie!

This puts Obama’s Dijon mustard burger in perspective, doesn’t it?

I thought all Viceland hosts were inked-up fat guys.

Marihuana treats epilepsy? No way, folks! You’re forgetting Sessions works for a man who knows the best science.

I can’t concentrate. Her pink eye is so distracting.

I went peach fuzz for over a decade and hated it. I loathed looking in the mirror. Going full cue ball is an unthinkable choice for me. Two years ago I decided to accept the fact that I am not naturally totally bald. I don’t try to hide my bald self like a common Trump but I am much happier setting my hairy half…

Trump in real life.

Chickenman. He’s everywhere. He’s everywhere.

The term “duck-lipped hipster” springs to mind.

Trump just does that metaphorically.

That reminds me of the one logic class I took. It was a freshman level course, and overall was perfectly fine except...almost every example was framed within the context of the abortion debate. Pretty much everyone in the class grasped that we were studying the structure of the arguments, not the topic of the…

There is also the fact that as a strategic heavy bomber Norway has literally no uses for them at the current time.

Trump later boasted the F-52 could detect targets the size of a womp rat.

Relevant Trump tweets about golf and unqualified appointments:

JT brings to the outdoors what Michael Jackson brought to being bad.

So now he’s a Backwoods Boy, huh. Did someone buy Justin an L.L. Bean fedora or somethin’?