Other possible hosts: Larry The Cable Guy. Steven Crowder. Sam Hyde.

a whole lot of people are having trouble getting in touch with their elected officials

I assume Forest Lake is a safe zone to talk about pussy grabbing.

But...but...#MAGA!

Had I scored just a few points higher in my service school I could have been assigned to the Polar Star. CURSE YOU, SECOND PLACE!

Sadly, because president Trump is doing such a poor job as president, you won’t see another white male president for generations!

Yeah, but when Obama played golf he was being elitist about it. Trump plays golf like we do.

Yes...Yes it does.

Yeah...Jon Frigging Voight.

On the other hand, I’m ramping up for production of my healing elixir distilled from boiled rattlesnake heads. Look for my ads on Breitbart and Gateway Pundit’s websites. Making America great again thanks to President Trump!

If the million fat women insult were at least original I might give that judge some props. But it isn’t. Scores of like-minded dullards have been tweeting that joke over the past two days.

Melania really regrets taking this assignment but her handlers won’t bring her home.

A little pig blood in the source of your drinking water never hurt anybody!

She does, right? She looks gaunt.

Asians don’t get face work? That sounds racist!

Did Olivia Munn get some face work done?

As soon as scientists solve the pruning problem this thing is a GO!

People can grow it in their yard and it’s fine.

I’m seeing bearded Cory Feldman.