"I can aaaaalllllmmmmooossssttt fit! Just a squeeze there... If I hold my breath? No? Maybe if I try going sideways? So close! ARGH. STUPID GATE. JUST SIT THERE AND BE STUPID THEN. I NEVER EVEN LIKED YOU ANYWAY."

*cries*

It is the obligation of every couple to inform guests of the wedding colors (preferably through subtle means, such as through the paper color and contrasting font on the wedding invitations, or perhaps by Morse code) well in advance of the fête so that the well-meaning guests can avoid those particular shades of those…

Not to mention the obnoxious and frustrating pictures of striking fast food workers with arrows pointing to their bellies or double chins or what-have-you and the line, 'Yeah, Bob can't feed his children because he EATS ALL OF THEIR FOOD! Hahaha!'

I am old enough to have learned cursive, but young enough not to have taken penmanship, like my mother. She has really pretty cursive! I have the typical hybrid cursive, with some letters in print and others and cursive (and it's not always consistent). It is nice, and it is legible, but it doesn't look like a…

At first I only saw the top half, and couldn't tell it was a cat. Just a roundish blob. My immediate thought was that somehow his mustache was an umbilical cord and the roundish blob was a placenta, and that he somehow had decided to grow a mustache-placenta for Movember.

I completely understand. People relate to other people. People relate to movie stars and pop stars and authors and illustrators and strangers on the street. We see something of ourselves in them, or something that we want to be. Their body of work cheers us up when we're feeling down, or gives us something to look…

Exactly. A person died. It is okay to be sad. It is okay not to be sad! Looking back at my post I came at it more from the angle of "Stop telling people to not be sad!" because that's what I'm seeing. But other times (not this particularly time, so far) I have seen people called heartless monsters because they're not…

It is sad. It's possible they can't release his name until they notify the family? Or that the family has asked that the person's name not be released until after the autopsies and investigation are over? Everything about this event was utterly tragic.

Right now my Facebook is blowing up with two sentiments:

Haha, that is amazing. I love watching border collies do their thing. My dog once had a border collie mix friend, and he learned how to stalk from him. I've only seen my dog do it a couple of times, and it looks super weird, but also hilarious. He is very bad at it.

I flew Qantas years ago on a trip to Australia. There was always a "snack" time, even on the short two-ish hour flights. And it was usually this amazing, mango ice cream bar thing. I have no idea what it was, but it was THE BEST. We got meals on the big trips, and they weren't too bad. Sort of like a frozen dinner.…

"Thanks but...nooooooooo."

That is the very first thing I thought. Ahhh!

This was an awesome Jezebel weekend, Burt! Come back soon (aka now)!

Purple normally has royal connotations as others have said, BUT I do believe it's becoming the bipartisan tie color of choice for politicians (because of the red + blue = purple thing, thank you kindergarten color time). I think it was Obama that wore a purple tie to his first SOTU address? One of them, anyway. And…

BETTER OFF TED WAS THE BEST. I very much miss that show.

Hi everyone! Belated post. A week ago I posted being all worried about my thesis defense on Monday. Good news! I passed. I submitted my thesis and paperwork a few days ago; I anticipate formatting edits later, despite spending hours making sure I followed every stupid formatting rule; but then after that it's done!…

Midwesterner!