That’s just rude! You need to be eased into that sort of thing.

No. I don’t think I’d even notice unless there was a head and shoulders difference.

Moving is stressful, just remember to keep breathing  xxx

I’ve only ever had one summer job, between school and Uni. I worked at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office and you’re going to have to trust me on its gruellingness coz I signed the Official Secrets Act, so if I told you any details, I’d have to kill you. 

I’ve been at events when the chair has said that.

I was at a literary festival several years ago and a bloke did this. The chair of the panel said ‘take the mic away from him please’ and made a joke about how he should sign up to a dating app.

I have to cross the road rather than walk past the open door of Lush coz the scents of the place set off my asthma and makes my face itch. I can’t imagine ever actually going in the shop! 

The different shapes were aces. I loved squidging those skins to shreds 

I remember getting some shaped like dolphins once. They were fab. 

I like the idea of a bath bomb, but my skin is so sensitive that I don’t dare try them.

They’re all about that bass, ‘bout that bass. 

The British tabloids will *not* be happy. Bunch of arseholes, and their racist bastard commenters. Good. I hope they are never happy, and that everyone who works for them lives a hollow and happiness free life, and that their carpets are forever full of Lego. The shit that racists and scumpoxes have posted on the…

I’d recommend a professional if you want to lighten your hair.

My experience is that they do do this. I wouldn’t go so far as to say they lost their personalities, but they do change loads.  

If you’re still feeling really bad and can’t get in touch with your GP,  I can totally recommend the Samaritans. They’ve helped me through some really hard times, including when I was so poorly I couldn’t even talk when I rang them up.

I hope you had a cream tea.

Fuck them.  Keep the good friends and bun the others  

English and Welsh (Scotland has differently timed breaks and I don’t know about NI) schools have 5-6 weeks in summer. 2 weeks at xmas and 2 weeks at easter. Then there are half terms- each a week and there are three- Oct, Feb and May. A school year has 39weeks.

Rhubarb and custards are THE BEST. Although I do love a pear drop

Oh! Another entry in the UK/US phrase book.