Ashlee Simpson: The "and guest" of her own life.

It's cool, I get it.

Maybe it's because I'm not a woman

... I know you mean well, but this is the most useless sentiment I can imagine. Do you really think that the impulses and opinions that drove these men to commit these crimes are in any way related to impulses that you and all men share? Then why even mention feeling bad about it. I don't feel guilty every time I…

This is a perfect time to remind everyone to be as nice while traveling during the holidays. I know, it's not as cool as shitting all over everyone and explaining all of the ways people other than you suck, but it makes for a much better experience if everyone is just polite and gets over the (unavoidable)…

Pfft, I am on the mother's side here.

Maybe airlines should make other seating arrangements for children.

I don't think there is any scenario where you take the cane away from the blind kid.

Taking away his cane is just the motivation he needs to not be blind.

That's why the part of this woman's housekeeper misplacing her stupid work out tank top made me livid. Like bitch put away your own clothes then you will know where they are.

A recent day on the job for Ms. Martin included her sprinting the third of a mile from Barry's to the Nike store on Fifth Avenue to pick up a lime-green tank top — the "lime green" part was important — for a client who was grumpy because her housekeeper had misplaced hers. "The whole locker room knew she was…

Here is Ariane Grande being carried to her Mommy & Me class by one of the concierges:

NOT revenge porn. Revenge porn is when you take pictures that were sent to you during a relationship and disseminate them in order to ruin your ex.

2 people were standing NAKED in a fucking parking lot and 100 people took photos of them. NOT the same thing at all. You can argue the ethics of Jezebel reporting on this…

I heard that... motherfucker... had like, 30 goddamn dicks.

I'm sorry. I think this is a hilarious story, but I can't get past the ginormous pixelation of that woman's bush! I haven't seen a retro pubescape like that since.....I can't even think of any examples.

Fashion design is art.

Who removes all of their clothes to fuck in a car in a parking lot? Discretion people, have some!

Question 1: Why would you get totally naked to have sex in a car?

Her twin? He's cheating with someone who looks exactly like his partner? Why would... you know what, I met my stupid question quota for the day. Never mind.

Bitch (I call you that, because that's what you are), you created a burner account just to come in and act like you give a fuck about women, feminism, and whatever.