I mean this kindly, because I work in marketing but also majored in history so have a tendency toward verbosity—synthesize the hell out of that profile. It is way too long. It doesn’t matter how sweet and well thought out your profile is, because people aren’t reading for that. They’re looking for easily identifiable…

Just leaving this here:

lol i’m so sorry i missed that 2005 episode of the daily show

That is a goddamn novel, and the reason that it’s unsuccessful is that no one is reading it because they’re bored after the first paragraph.

Just another entry in the long-established history of male artists stealing the work of female artists, who are also inherently less visible due to the structure of the art world as a whole.

My argument seems pretty sound:

It’s not coffee. Also the baristas aren’t mad at customers, just the situation and some customers, like the ones who throw things at you when you tell them you’re out of supplies.

“I am not a racist.”™

I first played Starcraft from a CD my friend copied for me.

Even a bag of dicks can do something right once in a lifetime.

Local ABC news showed footage last night of stuff that police took away as weapons and what was in the pile?

oh jesus. Paul Hollywood, ever the annoying fourth wheel. I shall miss Mel and Sue. Although guys, I just watched season 4. How the fuck did Kimberly not win? How the fuck did Francis win after a whole season of “style over substance” comments from the judges?

This will never not be relevant.

another bill he’s got in the works to require “abortionists” to tell their patients, falsely, that “the process can be reversed”

Let me get this straight. Man drops some artwork downtown in form of protest. City loves it and permanently adopts artwork. Another artest drops a different piece of art near the first one as a form of protest/tribute and the first artist is now complaining about his copywrite?

ha ha ha. He put that enormous statue there without permission. It’s essentially the most famous piece of guerrilla street art and he’s upset that a little girl statue is ruining things? Even italian male artists are the fucking worst.

Aren’t they suing him?

The CCTV tapes show clearly that the alleged victim was seen kissing at the bar with the employee and was seen entering the bathroom of her own free will. It shows a 90 percent chance it was consensual behavior.