I just had Panda Express’ Orange Chicken sandwich over the weekend and it changed my life

Here’s a graph of the author/editor power shift:

You should go fuck her new boyfriend to establish your dominance, and territorial grounds. /S

He kept an open hand 

Oddly enough all three of them are still being paid by the Mets.

though he struggled with the pronunciation of Kuznetsov’s name.

Undefeated! I’ll take it!

You’re commenting on the Internet.

I sleep well at night knowing I won’t have to explain to my grandkids someday that I was one of the good Germans.

THIS AARON RODGERS, HE DOES IT IN DALLAS SO MUCH, I CALL HIM DEBBIE.

Love how Rinne got credited with the goal at the end.

I’m more surprised that John McLaughlin found the time to be Acting Director of the CIA in addition to his duties with the Mahavishnu Orchestra. 

The police waste all their time on things like this, meanwhile the Tunnel Snakes are still running wild, terrorizing the public with their aggressive and provocative dance moves.

The headline said “Mets PROSPECT” though, which makes it pretty clear it’s not Tebow.

I don’t have any information about how he handles walking away from implosions.

Yeah, Jeets.

What’s diabetes? Is that related to my diabeetus?

I read all documents in Snoop’s voice unless otherwise indicated.