Taylor Swift bought a house in Westerly, RI, which is around a two hour drive from the Kennedy compound. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a nearby property. Also, I hate myself for knowing this information.

So Maria doesn't like young women who are nice, polite, gorgeous, and have good hearts? (OMG I sound like Adultasaur right now lol)

Now I want to watch a movie where Anna Kendrick is a ghost who makes people cake.

As just a personal observation, I've noticed that my female bosses seem to have more difficulty with the work/friend divide, something that could definitely lead to depression. I don't necessarily mean in terms of being unprofessional like hanging out with subordinates (thought that has happened), I mean in terms of…

Women be crazy. Let's cut their wages until they snap out of it.

I do not like the pizza-cake. It makes me mad.

In the spirit of Too Old for This, I think two thins here:

The "Bowls, bowls, all types of bowls" Missy Elliott reference is the best part.

I'm back home ballin as we speak....lol Bout to get that laundry started in a minute lol

So who's your favorite author?

I once went out with a guy who said he was a writer, and since I'm also a writer, I asked who some of his favorite authors were. He said,

Omigawd, that is the best smile I've ever seen on the internet! Too cute!

The end bead on a string of anal beads.

WE HATE THE DUGGARS!!!!!

Rabid homosexual activists

America's favorite family

they're being targeted by "rabid homosexual activists."

No lie, this is actually my favorite series on Jezebel that I read religiously. No, no sarcasm or shade. #Truth

Wait. Are you telling me the police in Ferguson are lying and covering things up with more lying lies?! I find this very hard to believe.

There are two things that should happen when you go to a restaurant near closing: you either get extra because the closing people don't want to deal with all of that food or you go find another place to eat because they ignore your ass. Getting arrested is never an option.