"I'm not perfect, but at 42 years old I can say that I've never even been drunk. I've never smoked or done any drugs. I'm as pure as pure can be."

I'm pretty sure I just watched the whole movie in that trailer

The scene where Drew Barrymore is walking out of that asshole's castle because she FUCKING SAVED HERSELF while whats-his-name was riding up to "rescue" her was a defining moment for my budding feminist self. EVER AFTER 4 EVA.

People who come out of rehab are allowed over-the-counter painkillers. That isn't what "no drugs" means.

SOMETIMES. Santorum is "the frothy mixture of fecal matter and lube that SOMETIMES results from anal sex." The whole point is that if you do it right, there is no santorum!

What if Rebecca's long overdue recovery somehow inadvertently takes down a prominent homophobe who is also a crack mayor?

Can we modify the toddlers to be miniature centaurs to avoid the sadness of child labor stuff?

Between Mama June and Cosby the big celebrity scandals are too fucking real and depressing right now. I want a juicy but lighthearted celebrity scandal! Here are some suggestions:

as someone who worked with and knew Janice personally for a time, I just wish to say, she is seriously one of the most legit, real people I have met in that industry. I have lot of love for her because she is so misunderstood and respect for her because she's so incredibly honest (and crazy). She's a hoot though and…

This is actually why I DO believe her. Janice Dickinson has always come off as such a broken human being that only truly terrible things could have made her this way. If Cosby was already a master manipulator by the 80s, I can absolutely see him preying on Janice. Easy.

My cat and I are rude to each other. Cats deserve a little sassing. His cat probably thinks he's a needy dweeb.

Anna, your articles have been awesome to read - thank you.

Yeah - she is radiating happiness in these photos. She's standing their naked, and not even giving half a shit about seducing us. And it works.

maybe he was just trying to open it?

I once saw a very drunk, very confused young man trying to stick a beer bottle up his ass whilst crying. I was at a party and went to an upstairs restroom, only to see that monstrosity. When he saw me, he didn't stop, but just stared deeply and sadly into my eyes. I then gently closed the door and left that house…

I was going to post this photo of me kissing my adorable boyfriend ('s awesome coffee mug, because BF is out of the house), but when I say all the great photos of gay couples kissing, I decided against it. They've had to fight too hard and I kind of felt like I'd be belittling their much more important point. I…

that "odd stress ball" is my husband

You should have gone to the bathroom and said "I'll send you something too", then sent him a picture of a bigger dick.