My God, that transcript. ‘I ordered you to have a healthy relationship with your father’. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.

Are we sure it’s for straight pride and not for promoting pedophilic polyamorous relationships? because that’s what I’m going to tell everyone it’s for.

Skimmed the transcript. At one point, the middle brother changes his mind and says he’d rather go to juvie than go to lunch with his father, and his 9-year-old sister also says she doesn’t want to go to lunch:

I just wanna know what’s going on after the border. Do those kids not have hands? Are there other kids and/or adults pulling them in different directions?

Literally what

It's obviously a gay family. Man holding hand with boys, may as well be a Nambla flag.

Neo Nazi reminds me of the Isle of Man flag (itself kind of absurd)

To be fair, I also want Apple prosecuted for that U2 album. Just like the Russians to squander an issue that could bring all people together.

Plus! Plus! If you read through the actual transcript, all three of these kids seem incredibly brave and willing to stand up to the judge (WHO IS SUCH A FUCKING BULLY IT’S UNREAL) and to their dad, who is just standing there, not doing shit. At one point, after the 15-year-old is taken away, the 9- and 10-year-olds…

I’m a family law attorney, and my office has been up in arms about this all week.

Now we’re incarcerating children because of their parents’ behavior? WTF is this world that I am living in?

It doesn’t count as productive if anyone making less than six figures is able ever to see their own children.

Dear Putin:

Classic leech behavior! Mooching off their employers for “wages” so they can support their lifestyles. They become totally dependent on their paychecks. Makes ‘em lazy. If you ask me, entitlement is out of control in this country—people expecting compensation for their work instead of just appreciating the opportunity…

Yup. My previous full-time job made me salaried and, because I was above the threshold, I made no overtime despite working 60+ hours a week. As a result, my hourly wage was awful, and I’m still one of the lucky ones. That’s not okay.

I’ll do a side-by-side comparison of work schedules with Jeb any day. We can put it all in an Excel spreadsheet with a column for hours involved, related commute, ability to work on said commute, and financial pay-off. I’ll even let him adjust it to allow for .77 on every dollar he makes.

I can already guarantee I work…

Exactly. Like, if you’re in an office job, if half of your workday is devoted to shooting shit and checking the internet and stuff (nothing wrong with that!), it’s not like you’re working productively or efficiently, you’re just working because you have to work that 8-4, 9-5, or whatever.

Am I the only one who thinks Amy Schumer is overrated?