Honestly, we’re kind of screwed either way, just less screwed with her. So, whatever.

At a public high school my sisters and I all attended at various points, there was a teacher who - rumor had it - slept with a bunch of his students. He left his wife for an 18-year-old former student almost immediately after she graduated, then the student dumped him, his wife TOOK HIM BACK YOU GUYS, and he’s still…

Oh, sweetheart...

“ awkward boners . “

those dudebros literally sound so heartwarming

I must have somehow sensed he wasn’t in there to rape me, just to rob. And the police pretty much knew who he was, a local harmless drug addict who would just go around the building trying doors until he found one open. Sequel to the story is that we actually tried to catch him again a few days later by leaving the…

I hate when tax-paid service providers ask us what they want us to do about it. If I knew, I wouldn’t need you.

having been raised orthodox, i have seen a total about face in sectors of the orthodox world; similar to the turn to right wing christian fundamentalism. extremists are awful people, no matter where they eminate from. bastardizing religious doctrine and law if repulsive from any group of people. an example; when i…

I’d say it’s for sort of the same reason I either get takeout for 2, or call up to an imaginary roommate when the delivery gets here. The pretense of having someone around is a huge deterrent to...a lot of home invasions, I’ve discovered. Also though holy shit pretty confident you tapped into some badass mom skills.…

Female air marshals.

Flying on a plane with your period is just irresponsible. You want to attract flying bears? Because that’s how you attract flying bears.

Let’s imagine for a second that a person with brown skin started making verbally abusive demands about seat preference, which delayed a plane takeoff. Hmmmm .....

In college I lived in a shitty apartment with a roommate who regularly forgot to lock the door. I woke up one night and half-asleep watched a tall silhouette of a man first open the door to my room to make sure I was sleeping, then walk around and look at the stuff on my dresser. It took me a few seconds for my brain…

Oh hell no, that is some fucked. up. shit. Glad you are ok, and fuck those cops.

The fear in her voice made me cry.

*presses play*

omgggg she is annoying, why didn’t the manatee just eat her?? that was the ending I was rooting for tbh

Idgi, I mean in high school I took a trip to purposely go swimming with manatees. They were a delight!

“WERE YOU RAISED IN A GODDAMN K-MART?!” is my new go-to.