Aw, so cute! They are my celebspiration couple! If they ever end, I really will gross cry.

Everything moves faster for celebrities (I see you Kaley Cuoco). Three months of dating and they aren’t already married with gossip rags hyping a potential pregnancy? Clearly this relationship is DEAD. *falls dramatically to floor and cries grossly*

NOPE. There’s peaceful protest that reminds him daily of what he has done (either in silence or in shouting, but always at an appropriate distance) and then there’s men outside his house carrying weapons and threatening to rape him. The second one sounds uncomfortably like the threats posed to the gamer women who are…

I was an RA of a dorm with a 14 year old and many of the weekends I was on duty in the dorm were spent hanging out in the lounge with him, because he couldn’t go out to party with the other kids or hang out at any get-togethers with alcohol. He was mainly lonely and a little in over his head. We watched a lot of…

Glamping exists! My fave: a state park in Miami has you glampin’ in mini cabins that have electricity and A/C. We lost power briefly during a storm and worried that the ice cream in our mini-fridge would melt so we wouldn't be able to eat ice cream and watch the sunset from our porch-swing. It was like, so rough, you…

Sooooooo if he gets off once without vaginal sex and then you have vaginal sex again several times in a 24 hour period, your chances of getting pregnant are greatly reduced? Is “Handjob/blowjob first, then vaginal sex all you want until 24 hour mark” the new “pullout” birth control method? Because if it is, we need a…

Yes. UFC-style pillow fights.

I guess it is if your definition of chick flick is just “there was a female lead”. This could lead to some interesting redefinitions...

BWHAHAHA! Next time I see this in someone’s house I am so going to comment on how “that’s a beautiful amount of horse pee, really great coloration”. Can the color be replicated by dog pee? Because I could probably teach the dog to pee on a pile of wood. Right now he’s just killing large spots of my lawn. We are…

I like the aviators! I think it’s hard to go wrong with aviators, you just need to make sure it doesn’t overshadow your face. My boyfriend and I both own a pair of blue mirror tinted ones and like to pretend we are super cool, cruising down the highway in the pickup truck wearing our fancy sunglasses on the way to the…

However, if I go to the gym and then run errands, I look and feel like a horrible stinky disaster of a human being. I only rock the athleisure as glorified pajamas I can wear outside without shame.

I mean, if someone is waving a gun around in a situation that doesn’t warrant guns and aren’t respecting the rules of guns, including “no finger on the the trigger unless you are actively firing” and “never point a gun at another person you don’t intend to kill” (also called the “Don’t point it at anyone at all, what…

Ha, I forgot to mention our face-eating weirdos! Yes, clearly we should be besties. I'll take my headphones out in a purposeful way that indicates I am prepared to converse, instead of playing hard to get by ignoring you.

Yeah, this is what bothers me the most. Their decision not to vaccinate their kid might not affect them, but it sure as hell affects the kids who are younger or adults who are older or anyone immunocompromised. A family friend lost her husband because their grandchildren weren’t vaccinated and gave grandpa influenza…

Yes, insert “I do not think that means what you think it means” Princess Bride gif here

If I have headphones in and am looking at my smartphone with intense focus, I am probably catching Pokemon to a raging death metal soundtrack. Unless you want to get my attention to alert me that I am about to walk into a gator-infested lake, trip over a wild baby, or miss the chance to catch a rare Pokemon, you and…

Rural Florida has its fair share of preppers and whenever I accidentally fall into a conversation with one who wants to talk about guns, I talk about how if they really wanted to survive an apocalypse they should consider farming mealworms as a sustainable protein source, since even meat rabbits take up a lot of space…

Yeah, I’m confused about why we are following THEIR after-the-bachelor story and not anyone else’s...

Me too (I know everything that exists is probably a porn somewhere, especially the gross and the weird, but I was like whhhhhhhy world what the fuuuuuck noooooooooo whhhhy to that).

Also, apparently the Zika mosquito is similar to the yellow fever mosquito in that it can’t fly higher than 12 feet. So build some 12.5 foot walls around your house, live on the second floor, and sign up for a service that shoots groceries onto your roof with an air cannon!