Breaking News: Donald Sterling Buys Crystal Palace

What a bitch!

Update: ESPN fires Sarah Spain.

"ACTUALLY, Teague was clearly out of bounds."

Aron Ralston Says Utah Wasn't A Good Place To Belay

Let it be known that the great Jim Cooke actually did two illustrations for this piece; we swapped out lead questions at the last minute. Here then was the initial art, inspired by the surviving-on-condiments Q; cower in the face of its majesty.

Sidenote: about 5 years ago I was at Hartsfield airport and being a huge Braves fan, I was so happy to see Hank Aaron was sitting at my gate for my upcoming flight to West Palm FL. I sat down at the gate and slowly worked up some courage to ask him to sign a page in my school notepad. I approached him and kindly said,…

I love it when people bring this up because you know Hank Aaron isn't talking about the people with actual gripes about the President's performance.

this is true cinema verite and should be nominated as an oscar short.

Arrest Sabermetrics deniers.

You'd think a university housed in Lincoln would be decidedly pro-Union.

street ball bitch nigga

sir charles just called everyone who doesn't understand this an idiot on the tbs halftime broadcast, much backpedaling ensued.

If this were circa Feb 2014, I'd just hit the rec button and move on, but since it's not I'll add to this tree branch twig thing here all these useless fucking words that prove this redesign is completely shit.

Hi Austin, DFAP here. You might recognize me as the bloke from the comment you originally responded too. Just wanted to say that it's cool someone as dense as a black hole could respond to my post. Hope your day is going well, friend. Adios!

What a pussy. If he were a hockey player he would've digested his tongue and kept playing.

I had a friend, we'll call him Bob, who lived in Atlanta. He was shooting around and this Hot Sauce guy challenged him to a game of one-on-one. Bob, about 6'4" and good at basketball agreed. Mr. Sauce then set the following rules:

I have been present at several flee-worthy events. It is every bit as euphoric as you might imagine. The pinnacle was an Atlanta-area high school basketball game in which two opposing stars took "turns" one-upping the other with insane in-game dunks. The final was of the fast break…

who is this guy get him out of here