Good article. You said it all.

The best result that can come of this is Hawk either quitting or imploding.

When ESPN's top sports story in the middle of a pennant race isn't whether Johnny Motherfucking Football will start the second preseason game. That's when.

Hunter sending this tip to Deadspin is great, having his buddies troll the rookie is also great. Isn't contacting the player's gf a bitch move though?

New Orleans smells like piss and hot garbage, Drew Brees removed his birthmark because it had a nickname, and he wrangled a threesome with two big women the night before a bowl game in college.

I'd like to imagine the stool's response would be "Go to hell, man. Don't fuck this up for me!"

Please don't go to any more games. Stay at home and drink, the rest of us will appreciate it.

"That grandma in front of me who cut me off with her basket full of a month's worth of groceries to get ahead of me with a 6 pack of beer and who has coupons for every damn thing there, and disputes several charges on the receipt after paying with a personal check."

* Using a credit/debit card at a convenience store for purchases less than $10.

Elsewhere than the comment section to the article?

Because the Williams sisters once said they could beat any man ranked below 200 and then lost to the 203rd ranked man on the same afternoon 6-2, 6-1. This kind of shit article is actually what ruins womens sports. My friends and I watch the womens World Cup with the exact same fervor and support as the mens. When…

I know, right? I had trouble caring about the motorcycle when I was distracted by how every aspect of that "party" is my nightmare.

Choo choo motherfucker!

Yes, let's all vote for one candidate or the other not based on their actual ability to govern, but based on their love for college basketball. U-S-A! U-S-A!

Wait, people don't promptly chuck the shitty apple remote and just use their phones where the interface is MUCH improved? Everything else goes through my Harmony. Remotes that come with things get shoved in a drawer and never touched.

A friend of mine was an NFL cheerleader. She quit to be a dancer in a cage in a casino because the pay was better and the work was less degrading. I wish I were making this up.

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,…

RIVAL CATERING COMPANY OWNER: "God, I can't believe they did that!"
[Shakes head in disbelief]
[Sighs]
RCC EMPLOYEE: Hey, it's okay, Soul Food Mike. We can always just go with "Come Get Your Big F*cking Plates of Chitlins."
RCC OWNER: I guess.

Illinois: New York? No. Chicago hates NYC, but the rest of Illinois doesn't give a fuck about NYC and the whole of Illinois doesn't give a fuck about the large state of New York.
And most Chicagoans hate Wisconsin more than they hate NYC, so I'd say N. Illinois hates Wisconsin. S. Illinois hates Missouri.

Screw you pal, I ain't going nowhere!