Trump talking about himself in the third person makes me furious. You’d think someone as fat as Trump is would be physically incapable of repeatedly kissing his own ass, but here we are

Right? My (shitty) paternal grandmother used to tell me that shit, too. I’m SO SAD that she died before I married my husband, who UNLIKE ME was a virgin when we started dating and he STILL bought the cow even after learning that I had been a sex worker. She would have DIED! First about her granddaughter being a WHORE,…

They all die except for Brienne and Tormund who shag like rabbits and repopulate Westeros with their giant offspring. And Bran goes back to being a tree. The end. 

If the British press is anything like my mom, Harry and Meghan are going to be paying for this perfectly reasonable position for YEARS.

Kate McKinnon is my everything.

Now that’s a guy I’d buy fried chicken from! That CGI guy doesn’t look like he’s ever even tasted fried chicken.

While dancing through the carcasses of all the dead birds killed by those wayward wicked windmills!

In my professional capacity as head of marketing and creative I’m responsible for, well, a lot, and I refuse to work with influencers. Slightly tangential but I also refuse to cash in on exploited minority poverty porn the way a lot of other sustainable and ethical businesses do. The “white saviour” trope needs to be…

Same here. Kids aren’t resilent and adaptable, they’re helpless. They have no choice but to put up with whatever fresh hell adults force on them.

One year when I was a young kid my dad, being an early riser, came pounding on our bedroom door saying we were going to be late for the bus. We all freaked out and ran downstairs. It was Saturday, April 1, and he had made pancakes. How is this hard, internet dipshits?

Well, LYFT always wanted to fuk UBER, so I guess they found the best way possible! “Ha Ha.  Try to get public now, losers”

Well this man seems to be going through somethings.

I would definitely watch on Netflix while stoned.

When I was about 6ish/ 7 ( I am an old) I was allowed to take my birthday money and go to the college record store to buy a record. The college kids kind of steered me to a record with a picture of Queen Elizabeth on the cover instead of the Little Red Hen, and I liked the tiara so I unknowingly bought a Sex Pistols…

I was 8 years old, and my family and I were driving to Niagara Falls in Canada for a nice long weekend trip. My sister and I were sleeping in the backseat when we got to the border, and my parents woke us up so that it didn’t look like they were smuggling 2 children under the blankets. I was pissed to be awoken from my…