$20 bucks for 3 hours is less than minimum wage.  That doesn’t sound great at all.

It’s cute the way you think there will be a 2060.

Note to the guards: Suicide watch does not mean, “watch someone commit suicide.”

“Suicide” Yeah, I buy that completely.

Every day I grow closer to being a conspiracy theorist. 

How very convenient...

The pelican will eat as much as four pounds of fish per day, nearly half its body weight.

I’d be chill too if I was worth $50b. What’s James Dolan and Jeanie Buss going to do to Ballmer? As rich as Dolan is Ballmer could buy him with his loose couch  money. He could buy MSG Corp and set fire to all the assets and it would have an immaterial impact to his net worth.

This dude is clearly in the wrong but I don’t let anyone follow me in to my building and I don’t hold the door unless I know you live there. Usually I just say “sorry I can’t let in people I don’t know”.

Drivers and Police get grumpy with them because they (cyclists) only follow the laws of traffic when it suits them. Run a red light or stop sign, no problem i’m a bike i can do it. Cross multiple lanes of traffic at once, “it’s ok i’m on a bike”. Ride between the lines of cars stopped in heavy traffic or at alight,…

That sounds mean spirited even for a typical prank show. 

My first thought was “Where’s the mom? Better hope it's not getting ready to fuck you up for approaching the fawn!"

Yeah but Klay will cry real tears if Drake invites KD and Curry to a party he’s hosting and leaves Klay off the invite list.

The babies should pull themselves up by their bootiestraps and stop expecting handouts. 

Major penalties will be reviewable next season. It’s a lock.

Gotta disagree hard on this one. IMO Jagged Little Pill holds up as a top 10 90s album. It’s a viscerally angry album and Alanis is SO GOOD at getting her emotions across.

If they only ran one loop, they would have gotten their 6.4-mile split across then ran on to the finish line without doing the second loop.

A story is posted about a 15-year-old girl being sexually groomed by her mentor and your response is “But she became a stripper!”

Ordinarily, my instinct would be to deny anyone who uses the term “snowflake,” but this substitution is truly bullshit. Asking for substitutions in a soup or stew is some next-level lousy customering.

How about you just have the dish the way the chef prepares it, snowflake?