I’ve heard that “________ is the best thing you’ll ever do” about having kids, colon cleansing, giving up meat, ice fishing and bungee jumping, among many other things. They are all equally unappealing to me.

Elementary school children can’t melt steel beams; isn’t it obvious?

The name of the website is “Funny or Die”

Take the second option, Bill.

It would have been great if there was a loaf of French bread sticking out of the top of their bag of loot.

I bet they’re so devastated they can’t eat steak anymore.

When it’s three female contestants I wonder how he decides who to be the most condescending towards.

Sure we need this. I’m sick of this “we’re high-minded” nonsense, which is why we lose elections: because we let their bullshit go unanswered. When they punch you in the stomach you punch them back, in the balls.

“hell is other people.”

Those non-gmo macaroni pictures aren’t cheap!

“Under the Sea” from the Little Mermaid?

Because Bloom went ahead and got naked in public, knowing that there were likely cameras pointed at him while J-Laws nudes were stolen from her via hack. He wanted us to see him naked, she didn’t want us to see her naked. Glad I could clear that up for you.

Fleanardo Di Catprio

Before I left for good I was assigned a house with three women. Two of the women were permanent residents and the third rotated in on an as needed basis. These two had similar backgrounds- both abandoned by family at birth, both technically non-verbal. P had a traumatic birth which left her with some facial…

not when I get to her house she won’t

Yeah. I’m absolutely, 100 percent in favor of an LGBT relationship in Star Wars or ANY franchise or film. What makes me sort of double-take and think twice is when fans *demand* something take place in a work of art, because it isn’t fair to the artist or the art itself, and artists are constantly taught that you…

I think if we all start listening to Pussy Control immediately our combined efforts will make him not dead.

Well you can understand his claims given how all guns everywhere were banned as a result of Sandy Hook.

Affluenza kid gets 2 years, after killing 4 people, fleeing the country.

This is a fine example of why Ciara was right to put Future in her past.