What is that weirdness under the chimp’s foot? It looks like it’s either peeing or casting a spell with its big toe. I choose the latter because a wizard chimp would be rather awesome.

LOVE Henry Winkler. My brother went to a taping of some show he did five thousand years ago about a blind dude and afterwards, Henry walked around and shook every single audience member’s hand and introduced himself. My brother said when Henry got to him and said “Hey, I’m Henry, what’s your name?” my brother got so…

My boyfriend and I were leaving a matinee of Slither (so this was in...let me check IMDB...2006) and he leaned over and said “That’s Shannen Doherty walking towards us.” Sure enough, I looked up and there she was, and she gave me the absolute nastiest look I have EVER gotten from someone in my life. She brushed by me,…

That alone is worth it. Her voice acting in The Last of Us is the best I’ve heard in any video game. (Troy Baker too, of course.)

That. Was. So. AWESOME. Yeah, my theater had a similar reaction! I think the elderly chatty woman dropped her popcorn at that part.

Ordinarily I hate it when people talk during movies because duh, but when I saw the first movie, an elderly woman and her husband sat next to me and she was SO EXCITED. “Ohhh, Marv, that g’rilla is obeying Caesar even though he’s so much bigger! That’s ‘cause Caesar’s so smart, huh?” and “Ohhhhhhh my lord, I can’t…

I think “Black Hole Son” is actually a Sean Cody flick.

Hey, Roman Polanski: I not-so-cordially invite you to fellate a turd.

When I was about 9 years old, I snuck out to the living room late at night to watch HBO and it just HAD to be The Lonely Lady. After that scene, I turned off the TV and just sat there quietly for a long time, horrified by life.

I seem to remember reading a looooooooooong time ago that Miss America contestants would use wig glue to keep their swimsuits from riding up their ass cheeks, so I thought maybe Victoria’s Secret might do something similar to keep their models’ bits contained.

Uh, I sure hope Victoria’s Secret used wig glue on Bella Hadid’s thong because it is really slipping to the side in that last picture!

THREE BOYS UNDER THE AGE OF 5?!?

That’s for sure. I will never forget seeing a poster of a little boy and little girl shot from the back, and he had pulled up her dress and had his hand firmly cupping her bare ass. This was in 1977, and I only remember the year because we were at the mall to see Star Wars and this poster was PROMINENTLY hanging in…

If Elle Fanning lost a toe to an escalator it would only be the second worst thing to ever happen to her (The Neon Demon would be the first).

WOW I am flashing back to college right now.

No, I wish (on the latter, not the former!). No, it was a “DIVORCE SHOCKER!”, which: LOL. I’d have to be in the actual courtroom watching the judge notarize the papers before I ever believed those two would get divorced.

This week’s In Touch has the effing Duggars on the front, so consider yourself lucky!

No. I WISH! That would have been an easy solve.

And why is it almost always after they’ve taken a dump?!?

If I come back as a ghost, I will definitely be the kind to hang out with the cats!