I saw some set pictures from the next/final season of Girls and it sure looked like Hannah is pregnant to me (not caught up so I don’t know if she really is or not) and oh god she would be a nightmare mother. Every character on that show, actually, makes me want to trepan myself.

I, uh...WOW. “We Are the Zero People” would be a great title for a Doctor Who episode or something, not so much as a song for CHILDREN to sing. That teacher is/was a rancid pile of dog vomit.

American Airlines can fuck themselves in their fucking dirt star. They left my dad and stepmother stranded in an airport and my dad called me completely freaking out because my stepmother was starting to get really sick. I tweeted them to see if they could help and their verbatim response was “The customer should be…

I saw her last year and it was really fun! I came away from the show as a MUCH bigger fan than I was before. Man, she has some quality bops. I hope she’s doing as well as she seems to be. I was reading a South African tabloid last night and she was the cover story and they made some pretty outrageous allegations. I…

I was wondering why it’s always this live version I hear on the radio, never the album version, and I did some googling. Apparently the band wasn’t satisfied with the album version, so there you have it.

I got fingered by my then-boyfriend at a matinee of Independence Day (the original, not the recent one). Don’t worry, we were in the very back row and the theater was mostly empty. The White House exploded and then so did I!

I’ll be going to Hallmark on my lunch break to get a thank you card for Jamaica Kincaid if anyone wants to sign it.

It’s interesting because when she called some of the trolls out, at least one admitted that they did it because they were lonely and wanted attention. I think the C-word troll was just being a pustular asshole and figured he’d pick on someone who seems as harmless as a wet kitten.

#jizzedinmypants

OH MY GOD KIT HARRINGTON IN GLASSES. Men in glasses are my kryptonite, Jon Snow is a plate of oysters dusted in Spanish fly, I am rendered weak and useless for the rest of the day.

People calling her the C-word, and I can’t find this particular tweet now, but someone said she was “low budget trash” and would never amount to anything. JFC, if being in Marvel movies and winning an Oscar means you’re low budget trash, I’m a fuckin’ paramecium!

I used to be so hot for Bill Clinton until someone (who didn’t know my secret lust) told me he looks like my dad and wow, talk about a (lady)boner killer.

People are being mean to Brie Larson on Twitter right now and I am SO ANGRY! She’s handling it gracefully but I’d kind of like to see her go off on some of these turdchuggers.

Britney, you my girl and I love you but that picture just makes me think of trying to awkwardly hold the paper drape at the crotch doc’s over myself.

Jezebel is my absolute favorite website because it covers everything that’s important to me: feminist issues, celebrity gossip, and the occasional WTF/cute animal story as well. I’m keeping all crossable parts crossed that you guys are able to stick around!

Co-signed. I was told by my eye doctor to start using artificial tears because my eyes were so dry I kept rubbing them like a moron and (THIS IS GROSS) the friction caused me to get what looked like a zit on my eyeball. It was actually a cyst, but needless to say I freaked the fuck out, and she told me to start using…

A to the fuckin’ MEN!!! I went straight from my family’s house to living with roommates in college (sucked), then I moved back home for several years (depressing story) after graduation, and THEN I moved cross country with a friend who I got along swimmingly with...UNTIL we moved in together. It wasn’t all shit, but…

Oh Jesus God oh I need it

Just about everything I’ve read on this case mentions that John Ramsey received a bonus in that amount, or very similar.