I have the same reaction to Terry Richardson’s face that I do to spiders: I’m terrified of them and all I want to do is hit them with a rolled up magazine until they die.

I just...wow.

What in the name of sweet fancy Moses is a “silent disco”?!?

Can you blame me? I mean, you’ve all SEEN The Revenant, right?

God, he TOTALLY looks like someone I would have jacked to in high school. Wonder if I ever saw this ad way back when and did that very thing?

I couldn’t bring myself to watch the video either because I’m still traumatized by my experience flipping through a copy of Seventeen at the dermatologist’s office (stupidly forgot to bring a book and my phone was at 5%) and I read an interview with her and she said (first sentence not verbatim, second sentence…

This is libel. You will be hearing from my lawyers.

Yes, have tried it on both IE and Firefox and only rarely get in. This has been a problem for the last couple of hours. Haven’t been able to get into Gawker, Kotaku, or io9 at all.

I despiiiiiiiiiiiiise Steve Harvey, which is unfortunate because one of my secret (well, not so secret anymore) vices is Family Feud. He is so obnoxious, although he’s (marginally) better than Richard Karn was.

I might have been crying too hard to hear that part. I actually burst some blood vessels in my eyes!

I will never forget seeing Star Wars in the theater at the tender age of 6, and when we were leaving, I said “Mommy, Han Solo was SO CUTE!” Thus was sparked a crush that burned brightly and hotly for many, many years, and although it’s dimmed a bit over time, it’s never died completely. Thank you for this magnificent…

I think in the video description (YouTube is blocked at work so I can’t double check) it said they used live footage and parts of “I Know What Boys Like” because there was no official video for “Christmas Wrapping”.

My personal Christmas jam:

Nah, if Jupiter Ascending is to be believed, Eddie Redmayne’s baby will whisper like an old man and then shout.

There’s a scene near the end where a dude (can’t remember his name, but it wasn’t one of the main knights, damn the luck) is changing back from his lycan form and you briefly see his nethers.

The Order: 1886 had at least two instances of full frontal male nudity. Neither penis belonged to somebody I particulary WANTED to see naked (gazes longingly at Lafayette), but I appreciated the effort!

I loved Electric Youth. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED it. Fortunately I have discovered that (appropriately enough) Britney Spears’ Fantasy is a pretty close match. I love pop teen queens and their super fruity cupcake fragrances, I don’t even give a fuck, I’m too goddamn old to care about being cool anymore.

Eat a Costco-sized bag of fucks, you maggot-ridden piece of pig shit.

I saw it last night and it was a lot of fun! Great performances, exciting action sequences, feels and laughs. And oh, Harrison Ford could still get it.

Thank you for not mentioning the specious and outrageous rumors that I have fleas in my beard. I shall instruct my lawyers to withdraw the papers immediately.