With only $200.

Nope, kill it dead.

I would be worried I'd rip it or otherwise damage it. The ceremony dress had a nice skirt, but the top part just highlighted that she didn't have any boobs.

Seriously. Don’t bother buying it if you’re larger than a B cup, have had kids, and/or over 40.

“Look closely and you’ll see that Bobby also wore his favorite patent leather YSL sneakers with his Hugo Boss tux!”

Oh Bobby, you’re so down to earth.

Even if they had, I looked at their stuff and thought “uh, this is Negative Support underwear.” They should have called it Tits Akimbo.

I thought Stefon was the wedding planner. This wedding has everything!

Yeah, it’s possible that’s all true, but it reads like 90+% of start-up CEO bios I’ve ever come across. “We had a great idea, knew nothing and broke all the rules! Aren’t we awesome?!”

They did it so we didn't have to...

My cousin used to write hilarious Christmas letters from an imaginary family named the Glinks. They were the best/most/perfect, utterly clueless, and insufferable.

Silent disco.

and unlimited amount of douchiness

I loathe both of her dresses.

They call themselves the “Schwebsters”.

Anything is possible as well when you unlock your unlimited douche potential and you either didn’t get enough or got too many hugs from your parents.

Upon arrival, guests were greeted with sound art, presented as a cacophony of small tinkling bells interspersed with more resonant gong sounds in reflection of the Zen ambiance of the 16-acre reserve. To ensure everyone followed the right path toward the ceremony structure, performance artists donning butterfly…

What do wallflowers do during a silent disco? Do they just sit there and listen to everyone heavily mouth breathe and maybe an accidental toot or two?

hard road rode hard

I hate that term. It’s way too popular with the pro-life crowd.

She looks like 30 miles of hard road.