Can Jezebel develop a sweepstakes in which the winner gets a trip to come see a movie with you- including the shrimp/weed/candy fest/reclining seats? Add a great pedicure and massage earlier in the day, too.

Ok, great- NOW can I dare to dream of one day paying oodle$ to dine at a restaurant and NOT listening to: a baby scream/toddler whine/LOUD video game or portable dvd player. As for the people who ferry kids into nicer restaurants or lugging pre-schoolers into R movies: “Parent” is a noun AND a verb. Please use both…

#PreludeToTheIdiocracy

She could rename her blog “Regina George’s Mommy blog”. Also, the “hold my earrings” part made me wish she would have to square off irl against another woman-let’s say, hmmm... Rhonda Rousey?

She did not clarify this statement. “No one”, could this mean polite co-workers and wary students? Or real friends/ lovers?

And the world wants both of them to promptly forget that they live on earth, depart to Mars post haste and stfu.

Can’t say I have ever had a BMI of 16- Or had my brown eyes described as “black” on a driver’s license. Oh to be Cher!

Kanye is pathetic. However, am I the only one who sees a strong resemblance (especially in this photo) between Taylor Swift and Miss Vida Boheme from “To Wong Foo”?

Aaaaand a lack of shame, or lack of caring what your kids get teased about at school.

Am I the only one who thinks that Trump resembles a crazed white barn owl that was randomly attacked by a flying merkin that somehow remains lodged upon his head?

Am I a lost soul doomed to forever be moored in the greys while I espouse my loathing for the K family?

I grew up with my Dad’s cigar and or pipe smoke billowing around us, and never had breathing issues, nor did I ever have that from “alleged” pot smoking. BUT- I had suddenly started choking and coughing at the movies and I didn’t know why. Something smelled like wintergreen in the air and I had a hard time breathing.…

Plus- even if she showed all manner of compliance and was being monitored- who knows what was going on with her parents? And how does a Mom who can’t read properly give a child a dose of medication? Or install a car seat properly? It’s not that I don’t feel for this Mom, but DCF is stretched too thin in most states.

He was severaly controlling of Priscilla, too- she didn’t want to have the tacky dyed black hair and winged liner, but he insisted, and controlled all kinds of other facets of her life. Major pervy dickweed in my book.

I still think that Elvis (besides having serious drug issues/Mommy issues) was a total prev/pedophile for moving FOURTEEN year old Priscilla into his house and having her live there for years before they got married. Creeeeeepy. Plus I loathe his stupid lip snarl/dyed black grease bomb hair.

“Leimay, with the help of Jeff Pennington, designed this organic display, utilizing live Spanish moss and linen streamers.” Bwahahahaha!!!!! Methinks Leimay secretly plotted revenge on the entire party by using live Spanish moss. The reason you don’t see people rolling around in that stuff or hanging long strings of…

Actually it resembles a giant asshole, which the craftspeeople subtly strived to suggest to the (more than likely a huge pain in the ass) bride & her mother.

I couldn’t help but notice how the ceremony dress made her boobs look rather flapjack-esque. Tits Akimbo- classic! Also sounds like a terrible Austen Powers female Japanese sword bearing villain.

Dear Mr. “I Hit Women” Brown,

In the immortal words of Debbie Harry “I’ll take the money, you can have the fame”.